我们都希望自己的孩子成为领导者。不管他将来是在传达室工作还是成为一名主管，我们希望自己的孩子成为一个有魄力、满腔热忱并且可靠的人。而且在这一点上，中西方父母有着不约而同的目标。

       作为孩子的父母和监护人，我们手中掌握着他们成为领导者的钥匙。我们可以作为楷模，通过传授技能来武装并引导他们在激烈的竞争环境里与他人共存。也可以让他们成为奴隶思维模式的受害者。这是很重要的责任，难道做父母的责任不比这更大么？

      帮助孩子成为领导者这件事最美好之处在于：正是每天的一点一滴让他们成为将要成为的人。今天，行识君为大家带来一篇美国本土教育论坛上关于父母如何帮助孩子塑造良好领导力的文章翻译：

      情商是我们每一个人身上不可度量的“东西”，它影响我们的行为，使社会复杂化并且潜移默化的影响我们做出正确的决定。

       孩子的情商取决于父母，他们耳濡目染，像海绵一样吸收着父母的一言一行。孩子的行为与父母的意识、对强烈情绪所采取的行动以及对他们感情的回应相一致。

      情商是能否在领导岗位上获得成功的最关键因素。TalentSmart在对数百万受访者进行测试后发现：情商的影响在领导者的工作表现中占比58%；同样的，90%以上的优秀领导者都具备高情商。

       大部分人对于如何提高自身情商几乎无能为力，只有36%的受访者能够准确感受到自己的情绪。通过锻炼具有高情商的孩子将帮组他们在成年后依然具备这些感知情绪并提高情商的技能，这会对他们的领导力和人生带来极大助力。

       父母往往沉痴迷于强调孩子的成就，因为这会让他们的孩子看起来更成功。相反，过于关注成就反而会引发各种问题，尤其在领导力方面，只关注个人成就会给孩子传达错误的做事理念。

       简而言之，优秀的领导者身边总是围绕着一群牛人，因为他们知道事情不可能靠自己一人完成。痴迷于成就的孩子只关注奖励和事情的结果，但他们并不理解这些事物。他们只关注谁获得了最有价值奖杯、哪个大老板又上了头条，他们觉得这一切都归功于个人。但残酷的现实会给他们深刻的教训。

       孩子需要赞美来获得健康的自我评价。不幸的是，大量赞美不会让他们更好的认识自己。孩子需要相信自己并以此建立起作为领导者需要的良好的自信。但如果家长每次都为一些小事过度表扬（人人都能夺冠的心态），这会导致误导孩子并产生虚假信心。要对孩子的热情和付出表示赞赏，不要让他们觉得自己无所不能。

       获得事业和人生的成功都伴随着风险。父母对孩子过度保护，不让他们面对风险和承担后果。不允许失败，就不会认识到风险。假如一个领导者不能承担适当的风险，那他/她只能冒着所有风险等待即将到来的失败给他/她好好上一课。

       成功之路上遍布失败。当家长保护孩子免于失败，并以此来建立他们的自信，他们将无法体会成功领导者需要经历的失败，并面对接踵而来的各种麻烦。反之也不要打孩子的脸，在失败时他们需要父母的支持，要让他们知道你关心他们，让他们知道你理解他们对失败有多痛苦。你的支持会让他们从失败中吸取教训并意识到自己的错误所在。就是这些帮助了未来的领导者建立的良好的品质。

       溺爱孩子是限制他们领导力发展的一把锁。想要成功，他们必须学会延迟满足感并且努力完成重要的事。孩子需要具备这种耐心，他们需要给自己设置目标并体验刻苦奋斗的过程。拒绝孩子只会暂时让他们觉得失落，很快就会振作起来，但被宠坏的孩子是不可能振作起来的。

       要成为领导者需要具备独立性。当父母为孩子做决定时，也要做好帮他们擦屁股的准备。父母一直替孩子解决遇到的问题，他们将无法学会自食其力，如果一直有人拯救他们于水火，那他们这辈子就只能等着别人伸出援手。领导者会付诸行动，他们勇于承担责任，他们负责又可靠。确保你的孩子也是这样。

       可靠的领导人是透明和勇往直前的。他们并不完美，但他们通过言行一致获得他人的尊敬。只有当父母是这样表现的时候，孩子才会自然地发展出这些品质。想要变得可靠，你必须对每一件事都无比诚实，不仅仅是你的言行，还有你本身。言行一致会让你的言辞和行为与你想成为的人有高度一致性，你的孩子会看到并渴望成为与你相同的人。

       不管任何时候，即便是孩子再生气、再无理取闹，你依然是他们心中的英雄，他们未来的人生的偶像。这可能会让你想隐瞒自己曾经的错误，你怕他们会不断重复这些。相反的是，如果你表现出自己从未犯错的完美形象，孩子会对自己的失败有强烈的犯罪感，因为他们认为只有他们会犯这样的错误。

       想要成为领导者，孩子需要认识到没有人永远不犯错误。领导者要能够审视自己的错误，从中学习并以此成为更优秀的人，而满是负罪感的孩子无法做到这一点。他们需要一个真实的，会犯错的人来教导他们如何审视自己的错误以及如何从中汲取教训。当你告诉他们你是怎么做的，他们也会以此为鉴。

        行识君记得领导力之父--Warren Bennis说过：“领导力就像美，很难定义它；但当你看到它时，你知道那就是美。” 只有当我们一起努力，才可以把孩子塑造成领导者，这比世上绝大多数事情更值得花费你的时间和精力。

       文末，行识君为大家附上英文原文，愿意同孩子英文一起进步的家长朋友们可以细细品读～

8 Powerful Ways to Mold Your Children into Leaders

We all want our children to become leaders. Whether they spend the bulk of their days in the mailroom or the corner office, we want our children to grow to be courageous, passionate and authentic. We want their actions to inspire other people to be their best, to get more out of life than they ever thought possible.

As parents and caretakers of children, their path to leadership is in our hands.

We can model and teach the skills that will equip them to lead themselves and others in this hyper-competitive world, or we can allow them to fall victim to the kind of thinking that makes them slaves to the status quo.

It’s a big responsibility—but when isn’t being a parent a massive responsibility?

The beauty of building children into leaders is that it’s the little things we do every day that mold them into the people they’ll become.

Focus on the eight actions below, and you’ll build leadership in your children and yourself.

1. Model Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Emotional intelligence is that “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible; it affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities and make personal decisions that achieve positive results.

Children learn emotional intelligence from their parents, plain and simple. As your children watch you every day, they absorb your behavior like a sponge. Children are particularly attuned to your awareness of emotions, the behavior you demonstrate in response to strong emotions and how you react and respond to their emotions.

EQ is one of the biggest drivers of success in leadership positions. TalentSmart has tested more than a million people and found that EQ is responsible for 58% of a leader’s job performance. Likewise, 90% of top-performing leaders have high EQs.

Most people do very little to develop their EQ growing up. Just 36% of the people we tested are able to accurately identify their emotions as they happen. Children who develop a high level of EQ carry these skills into adulthood, and this gives them a leg up in leadership and in life.

2,Don’t Obsess About Achievement

Parents get sucked into obsessing about achievement because they believe that this will make their children into high-achievers. Instead, fixating on achievement creates all sorts of problems for kids. This is especially true when it comes to leadership, where focusing on individual achievement gives kids the wrong idea about how work gets done.

Simply put, the best leaders surround themselves with great people because they know they can’t do it alone. Achievement-obsessed children are so focused on awards and outcomes that they never fully understand this. All they can see is the player who’s handed the MVP trophy and the celebrity CEO who makes the news—they assume it’s all about the individual. It’s a rude awakening once they discover how real life works.

3.Don’t Praise Too Much

Children need praise to build a healthy sense of self-esteem. Unfortunately, piling on the praise doesn’t give them extra self-esteem. Children need to believe in themselves and to develop the self-confidence required to become successful leaders, but if you gush every time they put pen to paper or kick a ball (the “everyone gets a trophy” mentality), this creates confusion and false confidence. Always show your children how proud you are of their passion and effort; just don’t paint them as superstars when you know it isn’t true.

4.Allow Them To Experience Risk And Failure

Success in business and in life is driven by risk. When parents go overboard protecting their children, they don’t allow them to take risks and reap the consequences. When you aren’t allowed to fail, you don’t understand risk. A leader can’t take appropriate risks until he or she knows the bitter taste of failure that comes with risking it all and coming up short.

The road to success is paved with failure. When you try to shield your children from failure in order to boost their self-esteem, they have trouble tolerating the failure required to succeed as a leader. Don’t rub their face in it either. Children need your support when they fail. They need to know you care. They need to know that you know how much failure stings. Your support allows them to embrace the intensity of the experience and to know that they’ll make it through it all right. That, right there, is solid character building for future leaders.

5.Say No

Overindulging children is a surefire way to limit their development as leaders. To succeed as a leader, one must be able to delay gratification and work hard for things that are really important. Children need to develop this patience. They need to set goals and experience the joy that comes with working diligently towards them. Saying no to your children will disappoint them momentarily, but they’ll get over that. They’ll never get over being spoiled.

6.Let Children Solve Their Own Problems

There’s a certain self-sufficiency that comes with being a leader. When you’re the one making the calls, you should also be the one who needs to stay behind and clean up the mess these create. When parents constantly solve their children’s problems for them, children never develop the critical ability to stand on their own two feet. Children who always have someone swooping in to rescue them and clean up their mess spend their whole lives waiting for this to happen. Leaders take action. They take charge. They’re responsible and accountable. Make certain your children are as well.

7.Walk Your Talk

Authentic leaders are transparent and forthcoming. They aren’t perfect, but they earn people’s respect by walking their talk. Your children can develop this quality naturally, but only if it’s something they see you demonstrate. To be authentic, you must be honest in all things, not just in what you say and do but also in who you are. When you walk your talk, your words and actions will align with who you claim to be. Your children will see this and aspire to do the same.

8.Show You’re Human

No matter how indignant and defiant your children are at any moment, you’re still their hero and their model for the future. This can make you want to hide your past mistakes for fear that they’ll be enticed to repeat them. The opposite is true. When you don’t show any vulnerability, your children develop intense guilt about every failure because they believe that they’re the only ones to make such terrible mistakes.

To develop as leaders, children need to know that the people they look up to aren’t infallible. Leaders must be able to process their mistakes, learn from them, and move forward to be better people. Children can’t do this when they’re overcome by guilt. They need someone—a real, vulnerable person—to teach them how to process mistakes and to learn from them. When you show them how you’ve done this in the past, you’re doing just that.

Bringing It All Together

We can mold our children into leaders, but only if we work at it. Few things in life are as worth your time and effort as this.