【考官批改】学员8.5分大作文重现江湖,一睹为快!,无忧小雅哥微信公众号文章

写作7分一直是许多中国学生梦寐以求的分数，有不少烤鸭们就为那0.5分而默默奋斗着。无忧小雅哥在内部作文批改中发现了一篇总分8.5分的大作文，考官M老师更是给出了Task Response 和 Grammar 分项9分的高分。看来雅思考官真的不吝啬啊，只要写得好，满分都是可以有的！

People prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced ones. Why do you think this happens? What should the government do to support local filmmakers financially?

Films play an important role in people’s daily lives in today’s media driven world and there is a wide choice available to movie fans. Generally though, viewers prefer movies made abroad to domestic ones. There are some understandable reasons for this preference, but there is much that the government could do to go some way to supporting the local movie industry.

第一段简要说明背景，并且直接说明有多种原因和政府可能的解决措施。非常契合题目要求。

There are two key reasons why movies produced overseas are more popular than those made domestically. The primary one is that local people have watched too many home-produced TV programmes and want towatch something different. For example, Chinese directors always use daily lives or well known wars as key plots in movies and Chinese moviegoers can usually even guess what the endings of the movies willbe. Therefore, they prefer to watch something with freshplots and themes, such as science fiction movies,likeBatman and Interstellar. In addition, some movie producers, such as Hollywood and Disney produce consistently high quality work. People are attracted to their films, because they put a lot of effort and investment into production and, more often than not, never letviewersdown.Take‘Cinderella’ as an example, it is a much-loved fair-tale, even though people know the whole story, they still want to watch the movie, because they are attracted to the way it is presented.

第二段开门见山说明两个可能原因。本段中最出彩的部分是词汇的丰富多样和逻辑连贯。尽管有一些细节错误，但不影响理解。例外，本段中每一个原因都有非常具体合适的例子，比如支持science fiction movies的例子Batman和Interstellar，支持high quality work的例子Cinderella。

In view of people’s foreign film preferences, the government is able to take some courses of action to financially support the local movie industry. Firstly, it should provide a certainnumberof scholarships or government loans to encourage ‘creative writing’ students to write more interesting stories for the movie industry. Therefore, they would be more likely to have attractive storylineson which to basemovies. In addition, the government should allocatesufficient fundsto thedepartmentresponsible for the control of the whole movie industry, such as the State Administration of Radio,Television and Film in China, and encourage them to spend this money providing technical support to forthcoming movies.

第三段从政府的角度提出了两项措施，简洁明了；并且两项措施的对象不同，一是针对在校学生，二是针对分管电影事物的公共部门。

In conclusion, film buffs generally think foreign movies are more attractive than local ones, undoubtedly, because of the different movie themes and digital technology offered in foreign blockbusters. Regardless, the government should not neglect the local industry and do whatever it can to financially assist it wherever possible.

最后总结段，概括前文所述的原因及政府措施。简洁有力，完美收官！

Word Count: 374 words is too long because you have only 40 minutes in the exam; 250 is the minimum required so aim for 270 to be safe

TASK RESPONSE Excellent - 9

--Fully addresses all parts of the task

--Presents a fully developed position in answer to the question with relevant, fully extended and well supported ideas

COHERENCE ANDCOHESION Well Done - 8

--Sequences information and ideas logically

--Manages all aspects of cohesion well

--Uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately

LEXICAL RESOURCE Well Done - 8

--Uses a wide range of vocabulary fluently and flexibly to convey precise meanings

--Skilfully uses uncommon lexical items but there may be occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation