【惊现】写作8分大神【内部资料】雅思秘籍~秒杀 Band 7,无忧小雅哥微信公众号文章

无忧小雅哥拜谢童鞋们参与投票，谢谢

Some people think teachers have a greater influence than parents in the development of a child’s intelligence and social skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Whether teachers or parents dominate the education and cultivation of children’s intelligence and social skills has become a contentious recently [1]. I believe teachers have more influence on children’s development and shall [2] discuss in more detail in the following essay.

[1]: (This sentence needs re-wording.)

[2]: and this opinion shall be

Parents, as children’s custodians have the predominant control over children’s early childhood. However, it does not necessarily means [3] their ability to help children learn and interact is superior to [4] professional trained teachers. A recent published paper by University [5] of Queensland shows that over two thirds of the first-child parents [6] are lack of [7] proper manners [8] to recognize and rectify their children’s wrong concept and behaviours. Interestingly, situation [9] improves when parents have more than two children, partly because the increased interaction between children magnifies the mistakes so they can be easily perceived by parents. Sadly, the lack of group play blunts children’s social skills as they “respond less and act less” compare [10] to those [11] in childcare centres and schools, reported [12] a research team in [13] National Childcare Association.

[3]: mean

[4]: to that of

[5]: the University

[6]: of first time parents lack

[7]: (delete)

[8]: (I don’t thing manners is the appropriate word here. Do you mean ‘awareness’?)

[9]: the

[10]: compared

[11]: those children

[12]: according to a report by

[13]: from

By [14] contrast, professional [15] trained teachers understand children’s needs better and have sufficient resources to support children’s development. Specifically, kindergartens and schools have plenty of toys, books and meaningful classes for children to choose from and expand their knowledge and ability systematically, yet their mistakes are observed and corrected by teachers promptly during the same period. [16] Moreover, not surprisingly, children are able to meet many more peers and make friends much easier in such [17] environment, beefing up their social networking skills rapidly and healthily when guided and supervised by teachers. Therefore, once children start learning at kindergarten and continue when they become teenagers [18] , major cultivation task [19] has been handed over from parents to teachers.

[14]: In contrast

[15]: professionally

[16]: (This sentence is very long – needs to be broken up with the two ideas)

[17]: such as

[18]: (awkward expression – needs re-wording)

[19]: (awkward expression – needs re-wording)

In conclusion, I believe teachers, as this career initially designed [20], have a greater influence on children’s development especially in terms of intelligence and social skills.

[20]: (needs re-wording)

Feedback:

Word Count is appropriate.

Task Achievement – Very Good to Well Done Band 7.5

This response addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position throughout the response however your conclusion is weak compared to the body of the essay. (Did you run out of time?) You need to mention that teachers have a greater influence over parents….

You have expressed some very good ideas with supporting statements.

Coherence & Cohesion – Well Done Band 8

The introduction is the first part that is read so it needs to be accurate to give a strong impact to the examiner/reader.

Suggestion: “Recently, there has been a contentious issue surrounding whether it is the teachers or the parents who dominate the education and cultivation of children’s intelligence and social skills.”

Information is logically organised and there is a clear progression throughout. Cohesive devices have been managed very well however some expressions/ideas need re-wording.

Lexical Resource – Well Done Band 8

The vocabulary used is sufficient and demonstrates flexibility and precision for the task and topic. Only some high level errors have occurred. Please see comments.

Grammar & Accuracy – Very Good to Well Done Band 7.5

A good variety of structures is shown and complex sentences are produced however too many systematic errors are evident to award higher. See comments

雅思写作批改殿堂级名师【Selena】

Hi, my name is Selena and I’m one of the 51IELTS writing markers. I have an over 20 years experience in the education area, particularly in IELTS. Writing curriculum and preparation courses for students to improve. The majority of my experience has been working with Asian students, so I am very familiar with the problems that are faced in trying to achieve a higher score. Let’s work together in improving your score to achieve your dream.

雅思写作批改名师音频介绍请输入【5002】

更多雅思写作批改范文【51】

雅思写作6.5到7分注意事项

很多烤鸭们写作口语都纠结在6.5分上，一直很难稳定到7分以上。问题到底在哪里呢？根据那么多无忧学员的case，小雅哥今天特地给大家整理了一些常见的问题，一些大部分学员都会存在的细节上的小问题，希望大家能对照一下自己的问题，尽快突破4个7！~

Introduction
写作introduction其实对于Task Response（TR）和coherence and cohesion（CC）有很大影响。一个高分的introduction，应该包含三个部分：
第一部分，paraphrase topic。用自己的语句，把题目的题干和argument复数一遍。
第二部分，提出自己观点。简洁明了的写明自己的观点，例如，是argue or disagree
第三部分，总结主要观点，在introduction里简洁的写明。例如，I partially agree with the statement because……

Topic Sentence
每一段必须要用一句topic sentence，写明这一段的主要观点。Topic sentence之后再用2~3句话来further explain your idea. 让考官一目了然，你每一段的中心思想是什么。

字数要求
Task 1要求150字，最好控制在160~170字左右，也就是答题纸Task 1部分第二页的一半左右。
Task 2要求250字，最好控制在260~280字左右，差不多是答题纸Task 2部分第二页的一半以下。

A类Task 1图表题不需要Conclusion
A类小作文是不需要写conclusion，但是overview却是需要的。图表题是要求考生描述图表，并不需要考生做出主观性的总结和概括。所以A类的烤鸭们注意，Task 1不用写conclusion，但是却可以用overview来描述一些主要数据特征，例如maximum, minimum，或者总体的趋势。

Task 2需要花2~3时间来做planning
很多学生都会觉得考试时间很紧凑，不能花时间在planning上。事实上这是大错特错的。一个详细的planning不单可以节省之后构思idea的时间，还可以有效的防止写偏题。
所以，考生们需要在看好题目之后，花2~3分钟做一个planning，至少列出自己的main idea，还有example或者key words，来帮助自己在写作过程中紧扣题目。

写完每一个task都需要重新看一遍稍作修改
小雅哥发现，很多考生都没有时间重新回过头去看一遍自己写的文章。其实写完之后的检查全文是很有用的。很多时候，由于考试的气氛或者由于紧张，会发生笔误之类的问题。如果写完之后可以腾出2~3分钟做一个检查，很多时候，一些细节的语法错误，用词不准确等等问题都能被改正。分数无疑会有所提高！~

字迹清晰端正
试想一下，如果书写的很乱，涂改的地方很多，那考官的第一影响在一定程度上一定会打折扣。写的清楚易辨认，才会让考官批改的时候读的轻松易懂，不用猜测，也不用跟着你所画的箭头到处找下句。

【提示】：

近期墨尔本雅思各大考点报考十分紧张请尽快预定考试座位，墨尔本无忧雅思7月份课程座位也已经持紧，需要咨询的烤鸭童鞋们果断输入【2】

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