换个方式写句子,​秒懂?

2015年07月01日 无忧小雅哥



如何正确运用正式的书面语

烤鸭们在练习写作的时候可能会忽略书面语的重要性。大部分烤鸭因为年龄偏小,学识和社会阅历等方面的局限不熟悉书面表达。这也是造成写作分数偏低的一个主要原因。烤鸭们可以从以下几个方面检查和提高写作用语的正确性。


避免太多的人化主语

口语中烤鸭们可能比较习惯用“某个人做某件事”来构成基本句型,以至于大作文中有的烤鸭依然写类似的句子:

More and more young students go abroad because they want to get better education and find a better job in the future. I think that they may have problems in study and also in life.

上例中第一句的主句和状语从句中都是以某个人开始的,第二句中主句和宾语从句也是以人做主语。虽然说这两个句子的WPS(每句中的词汇数)都超过10个,已经不是特别初级的简单句,如果句法和词汇没有问题还是很有希望达到6分。但如果全篇都是这样的句式,整个文章就显得幼稚,类似于记叙文写作,绝对突破不了7分。


其实修改办法很简单:烤鸭们要避免从“某个人”为主语开始句子,转而用比较客观的就事论事的态度。在本例中可以避免“学生出国”,只写“出国”;避免“他们想要…”,只写“想要…”。这样,上面的句子就可以写成:go abroad to get better education and find a better job in the future,不但很客观,而且把原来的主句和从句两部分精简处理成了一个动词短语。烤鸭小伙伴们在写作过程中可以多使用动词短语,不仅间接,而且表意清晰。


至于原来第一句中的主语young students可以用介词短语的形式放入不定式或动名词短语中,在第二句的修改建议中小伙伴们可以具体参考。第二个例句中的”have”,一般情况下主语都是某个人,在写作中可以考虑用there be句型代替,如果强调动作结果而非动作发出人。所以,上面的两个例句就可以合并成一句:

There may be problems in study and also in life for young students to go abroad in order to get better education and find a better job in the future.

修改之后的句子不仅表意清晰,逻辑清楚,而且词句精简内容对称,是非常优美的句子。

更进一步说,”have”和”there be”句型都可以简化成更简单的介词with结构,以下面的两句话为例:

On the table is a box. There is a cover beside it.

这两个小句子是小作文流程图中经常要用到的具体描写事物的句型,描写具有某种属性或者带有某种外部特征,烤鸭们不妨尝试用with简化表达。比如上述两句可合并成:On the table is a box with a cover beside it.


除了一般的”某个人做某件事情”和”…have…”句型,常见的人化主语的句型还有烤鸭们常用的几个情态动词,如can, may, should等。建议考生:can, may可改成It is likely /possible to do/ that…; should可改成it is necessary/ imperative/ highly expected/ suggested that sth. be done,请看下面的例子进一步理解消化:

Original: We can go anywhere we like with our bicycle.

Improved: It is possible for us to go anywhere we like with our bicycle.

Original: To curb global warming, our government should promulgate new laws to govern the felling of trees.

第二句话中的主语government不能改成it is imperative to do. 因为主句的主语必须是curb这个动词的逻辑主语。所以烤鸭小伙伴们不要盲目用方法,还是要具体情况具体分析。



被动句式的使用

在比较正式的新闻、商务、法律等英语文体中,被动句式因为其更突出客观性的宾语或者事实被广为使用。雅思的图表分析和议论文都是比较正式的文体,在以下两种情况下,建议烤鸭们注意多用被动句式。


1.主语不确定

Original: Someone murdered the millionaire last night.

Improved: The millionaire was murdered last night.

烤鸭们应该不难理解,其实这句话想要强调的是结果,即millionaire被谋杀这个结果。


2. 主语是泛指很多人或者大部分人

Original: Most people think that we can get a large share of benefit in the sales campaign.

Improved: It is widely believed that we can get a large share of benefit in the sales campaign.


被动可以用在主语句中,也可以用在从句及非谓语动词中。烤鸭们可以参考下面的范例:

Original: It is important for nations all over the world to join hands to control the software piracy.

Improved: It is important for nations all over the world to join hands to have the software piracy controlled.

Original: I don’t expect that she returned.

Improved: She is not expected to have returned.

Original: I am not sure whether the college graduates will find jobs in the financially difficult year.

Improved: I am not sure whether the college graduates will get employed in the financially difficult year.

但是,汉语的被动用法和英语不太一致,受汉语思维的影响,很多烤鸭还不能很好地掌握和使用英文被动句。俗话说,熟能生巧,要想熟练掌握被动句用法,烤鸭们就要在平时写作练习中多用多练,并且在老师给的修改意见基础上改正自己以前常犯的错误。


名词化

写作中把原本用动词或者形容词表达的地方换成名词叫做名词化(nominalization)。名词化是为了避免太多动词造成的句法处理上的困难,同时也可以把某些陈述型的句式转化成更客观的评价句,更符合雅思作文的文体要求。烤鸭们请看例句:

Our monitor didn’t come today. He has got a flu.

烤鸭们应该不难发现,这两句话存在因果关系。不妨用因果关系的信号词连成一句:Because our monitor has a flu, he didn’t come today. 细心的烤鸭不难发现,虽然because引导的原因状语从句是复合句,但主句仍然是人化。烤鸭们可以考虑用非谓语动词Having a flu, our monitor didn’t come today.代替从句,从而减少人化主语的使用次数。


如果烤鸭们想彻底去除人化主语,可以将原句中的宾语用一个概括性的名词来替代并变成主语,中间加上表示因果关系的动词,这个句子就非常符合雅思大作文的风格:The flu caused the absence of our monitor today.或者The absence of our monitor is caused by his illness. 尽量将小句变成名词,减少某个人做主语的口语化句式的出现频率。


小雅哥为烤鸭们总结常用的名词化替代:

lack of (代替if there is no…)

ignorance of sth.(代替don’t know …)

illiteracy in sth. (代替can’t read…/ can’t use…)

failure to do/in sth. (代替didn’t do…) 等。

此外个别单词也可以利用题目中的动词的名词性后缀如: -tion,-ment, -isation, -ness, -ity等或者变成动名词形式-ing。如:

Original: More young generations celebrate the western festivals.

Improved: The celebration of the western festivals is popular among more young generations.


个别表达

最后小雅哥提醒烤鸭小伙伴们,more and more/ a lot等口语化的短语应尽量避免用在雅思写作中。不妨用increasing (ly), a large number of…/a great deal of…/swarms of…等更为正式和书面的短语代替。此外,缩略形式也是正式的写作中要避免的。

烤鸭们要想实实在在提高作文分数,平时练习是必要的。但更重要的是了解正确的雅思作文写作方式和要求,不断对照自己的文章,不断纠错并改错,才能从根本上提高作文水平。


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