「【灭“鸭”神器】不在墨尔本，照样过雅思7分 ^_^ 9.20地图题再次逆袭 囧」2014注定将是一个不平静的雅思年，流程图地图题的频率简直是逆天了囧 9月20日地图题再次逆袭，查询【墨尔本无忧雅思论坛】第一时间分享交流雅思回忆及心得：-）

来自Amyi的邮件恭喜攻克雅思

来自Amyi的范文批改达到写作7.5分

The line graph and table provide the information about the average monthly temperature and yearly average sunshine hours in three major metropolises of the world, namelylike London, New York and Sydney.

「namely」Such as' indicates you are giving examples, but they aren’t limited to the examples you give. (mammals, such as dogs, cats, bears and tigers – obviously there are more mammals, these are just examples) Namely is better to identify the specific 3 metropolises.

Noticeably, the temperature patterns for London and NY are quiet similar. The average degree of temperature experiences an increase from January to mid July, peaking at approximately 25C and 30C in London and NY, respectively. From this point onward, the temperature sees a declines for the rest of the year, bottoming out at about 10C in London and 5C in London andin NY separately. It can be seen that NY generally has warmer summers and colder winters than London. In contrast, the pattern for Sydney goes the other way around compared with the other two cities. The lowest temperature is approximately 17C in mid of- July and the warmest time is in December with the hotness of at 27C.

「separately」Don't substitute separately for respectively – just state them directly after each city if you want to avoid overusing that method of quoting stats.

「compared with the other two cities」You already said in contrast, and that London and new york were similar, so we can assume this, making this phrase redundant.

As far as annual hours of sunshine are concerned, NY and Sydney have similar averages of 2535 and 2473 hours correspondingly. London, however, has a much lower average number of annual sunshine hours of at 1180 hours.

「correspondingly」Okay, this is okay to use in place of respectively.

In conclusion, the annual sunshine hours are highly correlated with the overall temperature of each city. More precisely, London is the coldest city with the fewest hours of sunshine. Meanwhile, NY has the hottest summer, but Sydney enjoys the warm weather most of the time more often.

Cameron CommentsBand 7.5

「Task Achievement: 8」Great job, you covered almost all of the relevant information, including relating and comparing observations from both graphs. The only way you could have improved would have been to convey information on Spring and Autumn in the countries. (New York’s temps rise more dramatically in spring, surpassing London in April, while also staying warmer later into the year, dipping below temps in London in late November. Sydney has a seemingly smooth and curve, with avg temps around 25C for 3 months of the year falling at a much more gradual rate and experiences the lowest range of temperatures.)

「Coherence & Cohesion: 8」Also really great here! The only thing I question is that the paragraph on average temps is much longer than that for the hours of sunshine, and rightly so, there is much more information there. However, I feel like there could be a better way to separate the data so it doesn’t seem so lopsided? Maybe discuss London, New York and Sydney in three separate paragraphs, discussing weather and hours of sunshine for each city separately?

「Lexical Resource: 8」I think you also did very well here. Range was more than sufficient for the task and accuracy was there. I did question the use of separately, but I think you were strong here otherwise.

「Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7」I think a few of the corrections above can be considered preference or corrections for the sake of clarity and style. However, whilst range was great, there was probably one too many errors to get an 8 here.

「Overall Score: 7.5」Maybe address the information about autumn and spring and this could get a 9 in TA or avoid some of the grammatical errors and you could easily get an 8 with work of this quality, great job!!

「About Cameron」Hello, my name is Cameron and I am a writing and speaking tutor and marker for 51 IELTS. Despite being a native English speaker from the US, I had to take the IELTS exam, in order to earn extra points on my visa application, after graduating from the University of Melbourne with a Master in Accounting. Having achieved an overall band score of 9 and earning a spot on the Dean’s Honours List in my studies, I understand the importance of written and spoken communication, whether it is for study, work or everyday life. My goal is to help you improve your English language skills, by focusing on writing style, essay structure, vocabulary and fluency, so that you can get the score you want and even improve your day-to-day life.

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雅思直播2014.09.20A类

「☆小作文☆」今天考了地图题，about the changes of docks between 1980 and nowadays.果然是连续考查地图题的节奏，2014注定不会平静，下周无忧小雅哥会根据学生们的回忆写出题图题的范文供大伙儿参考，烤鸭小伙伴们敬请期待！~

「☆大作文☆」In developing countries, some people believe government should introduce new technology to people to improve the quality of life, while others believe government should provide free education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.今天的A类大作文完全没有陷阱啊，小伙伴们分别讨论两方面即可，祝大家都好运！~

雅思直播2014.09.20G类

「☆小作文☆」You went to your friend’s place last weekend and you left your watch there. Write a letter to your friend to say thanks to him/her, and describe what kind of watch it is and what do you expect them to do. 典型的informal letter哦，100%在预测之中，小伙伴们注意写作时的TONE哦！~

「☆大作文☆」people think we should encourage children to do more outdoor activities instead of playing computer at home. Do you agree or disagree?今天G类的小伙伴们运气不错哦，大小作文都不难，祝大家屠鸭成功，早日与雅思君分手！~

雅思直播2014.09.20参与直播回复 「21」

「Joanna在墨村」No.1考 part 1 study, house, relaxation; part 2 describe a time you had troubles with a piece of equipment? 小雅哥我想问一下 这是新题吗？

「注册账户」今天果真考地图题了…口语考的挺早。第一部分name leisure time accomodation 第二部分 historical place 写作不行 口语还行吧

「樊哥求破6」还好有口语机经！我今天考到之前整理的新题了！a piece of advice given by others.第一部分和第三部分都不太记得了 应该都是一些常规的问题，名字住宿之类的。再次谢谢！

「joshzheng」p1 weather,family members,housework p2 something you saved money for

「羅胖胖」hawthorn的女考官，挺老的。帕特one cloth&shoes 帕特two a thing you enjoy with elder people in your family 说的还行吧

「乐果果」OMG…老太考的…这次是不是死定了…第一部分有问到maps，别的都挺正常的。第二部分是a place you visited with a different culture…第三部分是关于culture的，how to learn cultures from other countries..is it hard for you to learn other cultures…what can you do when you meet culture conflict with others…

「川妹子Tina」1点半RMIT考的，一瘦小老头。part1 museum/gallary, gift, shopping. part 2 describe an intelligent person. part 3 what should parents do to develop children’s personality? what should be added into school curriculum, in your opinion? 别的不太记得了。祝大家好运。RP求爆发。

「Jeremy」2pm.rmit. P1cooking, food, study, major. P2 describe a time when you were busy. 希望能帮到你们。

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