Princeton University

普林斯顿大学

文书范本

It is a very difficult thing,to define one's self on a piece of paper.Can anyone,through one example,reveal his essence?Whatever words I can grasp will never have the richness of the emotion they are meant to convey.On the page my words look hollow,inadequate:"beauty,""pride,""pain,"the words do not hold the intensity of the actual feelings.The image maybe there,but the feeling,the feeling must be experienced,and in each person it will be different.And whatever two hundred words I use will be scrutinized,will be ME in your eyes.How can I show you who I am in ten minutes when it has taken me every breath of the last seventeen years to even begin to ask myself the same question?

I am the honey-colored sounds of my grandmother's grand piano on a Saturday morning when the family has gone out for breakfast,

I am the scent of burning leaves and smashed pumpkin,and I am the foggy breath off the top of the pond next door.

I am the scintillation of colored city lights as the car cradles across the bridge,the skidding of windshield wipers across drizzled glass,the streaking of each light into lines of pink.

I am the smack of spinning volleyball against sweay forearms,the burning of elbow skin against a newly waxed waxed gym floor.

I am the clean sting of chlorine ang the tickle of freshly cut grass which clings to wet feet in the summertime.

I am a kaleidoscope of every breath,every shadow,every tone I have ever sensed.

I went on a canoe trip and stood under a pine tree watching the rain patter against the lake and felt the warm summer wind and thought that I had found absolute peace and perfection in one droplet of water.

I sang at a school talent show for the first time in my life after years of being stage-shy.The crowd was small and cozy,and the light was warm as the guitar hummed.I ignored my fear,because everything was perfect,and let myself be free and sang and sang...

I don't konw whether Ronald Reagan is good or bad.

People who argue that nuclear war is bad annoy me because they assume that someone on earth thinks that nuclear war is good,and aviod the real issue,which is how to prevent nuclear war.

I don't understand people who hate camping.I hope that I never feel that business and politics are more real than a pine forest or an open plain.

Reality and perfection are in my mind synonymous.I think that the word is perfect.Even things which I hate are perfect because hatred is no less real an emtion than love.Famine is terrible,war is terrible,murder is terrible.But to say that nothing terrible should exist is denying everything this world contains.There cannot be wonderful without terrible.Pain is just an beautiful as joy,from an objective point of view.

The exciting thing for me is that I know that there is so much more for me to learn,and that everything I embrace as truth now is very small part of what I will eventually be able to recognize.

The terrible things is that I konw when I die I will not know a millionth of the knowledge which all people on earth collectively hold.No matter how many days I sit and read,research,engulf information,I will never be exposed to everything.And right now I want to be exposed to everything.

申请顾问编著点评

文书的形式比较新颖，诗意盎然。并没有采用常见的写作风格，即通过一件经历来体现学生的某种品质能力。这也是申请人在第一段中提到的问题，她认为文字是苍白无力、缺乏感情的，很难通过某一段经历或事件来揭示她的本质。申请人在第一段中提出的问题也比较具有戏剧性，能够激发读者的好奇心，一方面想要了解申请人会通过怎样的方式来展示自己，另一方面则希望去揭开遮住申请人形象的那层面纱。

申请人在文书中采用了非常细节化的描述，给人以身临其境的感受，仿佛真的能听到她弹奏祖母的钢琴的honey-colored sound，闻到burning leaves and smashed pumpkin的味道，看到她在排球场上挥洒汗水的激情、客服胆怯的心理后在舞台上尽情歌唱的喜悦......所以，即使文书主体从来没有通过描述申请人参与或经历过的事情来进行佐证，仍然不会引起读者对申请人兴趣爱好真实性的质疑。相反，能够感受到申请人对细节的关注，对生活的热爱。

而在文书最后几个段落，则能够看到申请人敏锐的观察力、思想深度、看待问题的方式和角度......比如通过对核战争这件事情的争论，可以一语中的发现问题的本质；通过对现实和完美的认识，可以辩证性的看待生活中存在的好的和坏的事物，进而来展现自己渴望探索未知的激情。

申请人通过细节的刻画来展示自己丰富的兴趣爱好，向读者传达了申请人积极探索和尝试新鲜事物的特点。而申请人所具备的能力，比如敏锐的洞察力，批判性思维等，让申请人在最后提出exposed to everything这样的想法更加有说服力。整篇文书形散而神不散，逻辑清晰，塑造的申请人形象鲜明生动。

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