随着各位女性加入到讨论，可以很明显地看到一个事实，无论我们来自于什么样的背景，我们几乎都有着相似的经历。几位女性曾遭遇过令人震惊的性别歧视：拿到与男性同事不一样的薪酬；在工作中因为年轻女性的身份而不被重视；被当面告知作为女性无法在某个领域获得成功。我们当中有几位甚至怀疑自己是否在自己的职业生涯中做了对的选择。但这并不是一个悲观的讨论—我们听到了一个又一个如何用自己的努力和坚持应对挑战的故事。以下是我从活动中获得的一些主要感想：

第一，无论在中国还是欧洲，社会正在改变。年轻女性已经成为了“转型的一代”当中的一员。我们觉得进程困难是因为我们对抗的是几个世纪的社会传统。但我们在慢慢的取得成功！越来越多的女性楷模在她们所选择的职业上获得成就。这就是为什么改变在发生。我们有责任让年轻一代看到我们在支持和鼓励着其他女性追求她们的目标。

第二，母亲身份是一个无法改变的事实。只有女性可以体验生孩子（我们何其幸运！），在某种程度上生产会给我们带来影响，而这是男性没法体会的体验。这些影响包括我们至少可以享有产假和哺乳假，给予我们时间产后恢复。我们之中有些人甚至拒绝了很好的工作机会，因为知道自己怀孕了。但另一种影响似乎是只有母亲才能体会到的沉重的愧疚感—我们应该花更多的时间陪伴小孩，与他们建立情感纽带。我很好奇这些愧疚感有多少是来自于社会对女性的期望。

第三，如果社会对于性别角色的期望要得到改变，男性需要出一份力，这对于挑战传统性别角色的男性来说同样困难。活动中很多位女士的丈夫在育儿中扮演主要角色，我们发现如果从孩子出生伊始就给予丈夫照顾孩子的责任（洗澡、穿衣、喂食等），他们日后承担起育儿角色的可能性会更大。但为何我们很少能看见这样的男性楷模？与挑战性别刻板印象的女性相比，男性受到的鼓励还没有达到相同程度。

参与活动的女性来自不同背景，我们都做了不同的决定，我们当中有的已婚有的单身，许多人既要扮演母亲角色同时也要追求自己的事业，而这个群体对于应该花多少时间和孩子相处有着不同的观点。但显而易见的是，一路走来，我们都有着自己的故事和心路历程（相信我，参与者中有几位女性令人印象深刻）。

我们已经做出了对自己而言正确的选择，真正地“做妳自己”。活动结束当晚，我的内心是怀着极其温暖的感觉离开的（当然不止是酒的原因）。这听起来有点俗套，但当晚我确实感受到了我们之间的“姐妹情谊”，虽然对参加活动的男士感到抱歉。让我们继续互相鼓励和鼓舞吧。 

请大家在评论区分享你们的想法，我们期待听到参与活动的嘉宾的想法。

下一个“做妳自己”的活动将在3月举行，想了解最新消息，请关注英国驻广州总领事馆微信公众号及官方微博。

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*感谢The Wine People对活动的赞助与支持。

英语原文：

As we approach International Women’s Day again this year it’s worth reflecting on where we are now, as women.  Yesterday evening, I invited 40 senior women (and a handful of men) to join me for a closed door discussion about the issues women face.  The discussion was perhaps predictable:  we started off on the gender pay gap, and the recognition that the issue is mostly about getting more women up to senior levels.  We talked about the limitations (and opportunities) maternity imposes upon us, and the guilt that weighs heavily and probably disproportionately on women.  We talked about the assumptions that are made about us:  by our own families, by our employers and by society, in the UK as well as China.

As each woman added their contribution to the conversation it became clear, that despite our different backgrounds, we had all faced similar experiences.  Several women had some astonishing examples of discrimination: being offered a different salary to their male counterparts; not being taken seriously because they were young and female; being told openly that a woman could not succeed in their field.  Several of us wondered whether we had made the right choices throughout our careers.  But this was not a pessimistic event – we heard tale after tale of hard work and persistence as each of us met our individual challenges.  These are the top insights I took away:

Firstly, society is changing, in China, and in Europe.  Young(ish) women now are part of the “transition generation”.  It has been difficult for us because we’re pushing against centuries of tradition.  But we’re succeeding!  There are more and more positive female role models succeeding in their chosen professions. And this is why this change is taking place.  We have a responsibility to younger generations to make ourselves visible and to support and encourage and inspire other women to follow their own ambitions.

Secondly, motherhood is a fact of life. Only women can experience childbirth (lucky us!) and it will have an impact on women in a way that it can never do for men.  These impacts include taking time off for the birth at least, and usually some time off to recover.  Some of us had also turned down fantastic job offers because we knew a baby was on the way. But another impact seemingly unique to mothers is the crippling guilt that as a mother we should be spending more time, and building bonds with, our children.  How much of that guilt comes from society’s expectations, I wonder?

Thirdly, if the expectations of gender roles in society are to change, men need to play a part.  It is hard for the men who are challenging traditional gender roles too.   There were many examples in the room of women whose husbands were playing a big role in childcare.   We observed that where our husbands had been given responsibility for a new baby from the start (bathing, changing, feeding) they were more likely to take on this role.  But where are the visible male role models?  Men are not yet mobilised in the same way women are to challenge gender stereotypes.

The women in the room came from a range of different backgrounds.  We had all made different choices.  Some of us were married and some were not.  Many were combining motherhood with work, and of those, we had differing views about the“right” amount of time to spend with our children.  What became clear was that we all had a story to tell about how we had got to where we are now (and believe me, there were some impressive ladies in the room).

We had made the decisions that felt right for us.  Be Yourself, indeed.  I left at the end of the evening with an incredibly warm feeling (and it wasn’t just the wine).  It sounds like a cliché, but with apologies to the men in the room, there really was a tangible feeling of “sisterhood”.  Let’s keep encouraging and inspiring each other.

Please share your thoughts below – we’d love to hear more from those who attended.

The next Be Yourself event will be in March 2018.  Follow the British Consulate General Wechat and the British Consul General Weibo account to find out more.

*Thank you to the generous support of The Wine People for their sponsorship of this event.