Quora上有人问了这么个问题：你是啥时候开始意识到，老师说的也不一定都对的？(When was the first time you realized that a teacher cannot always be right?)

于是出现了各种误人子弟的版本

@Nithya Ravi

自然科学老师是这样教我们的：湍急河流里的水是可以用来发电的。她告诉我们，要是水龙头拧到最大，手指一直放在水龙头底下，还能有触电般的赶脚哩！下了课我赶紧跑到洗手间亲身试验，结果啥都木有感受到，大失所望。于是我把这事儿告诉了老师，她回答说：“你太肥了，所以手指才感受不到。”

注：后来，爸妈给我讲了水力发电还有它的工作原理。第二年，他们也让我转了学。

My Science teacher taught us that water from rapidly flowing rivers can be used to generate electricity. She told us that if we open the tap fully and keep our finger under the water, we can actually experience electric shocks! During the break, I went to the washroom and tried this and was disappointed when I did not feel any shock. I told my teacher about this and her answer was: "You are too fat and so your fingers cannot sense electricity."

P.S: Later my parents told me about hydroelectric power and how it actually works. They also put me in a different school the next year.

@ Jubin Katiyar

我们物理老师(原先是辅导老师)问我最喜欢什么科目，而且是要作为事业来追求的那种。我告诉他我的最爱是天体物理学。他笑得那叫一个邪恶啊，明显不怀好意。接着，他的问题就来了，我当时就心想：这下完蛋了！

第一问：“把所有行星的名字都说给我听听。”这对我来说是小菜一碟啦，就都告诉他了。第二问：“我们这个星系叫啥？”我回答是银河系，说完后物理老师立马变了脸，好可怕。他说，“要是叫银河系，那这太阳系究竟又是什么鬼？？”

My physics teacher (from coaching) asked me my favourite subject, in which I wanted to pursue my career. I told him it was astrophysics. He started smiling a diabolic smile and it was clear that his intentions were not good. Then he started asking me questions and I was like: now I'm gone!

His first question, "Tell me the names of all the planets." That was quite easy for me, so I told him. Next one, name of our galaxy. I said Milky Way, his immediate reaction was horrible. He said, "Ho chuka tmse, agar milky way hamari galaxy hai to solar system kya hai (if the Milky Way is our galaxy, then what the hell is our solar system called) ??"

@ Sarthak Pranit

那个男老师在班里说：“如果你的成绩平均累积学分级点达不到9.0的话，你就是没有未来。”

The moment he announced to the class - "If you don't have a CGPA of at least 9.0, you have no future."

@Saket Sohan

有一次上课，老师说：“纳尔逊·曼德拉不仅是革命家，还是伟大演员。你们都看过《肖申克的救赎》了吧？”

我们笑shi了……

老师看起来很无辜……

During a lecture he said, "Nelson Mandela was not only a revolutionary but also a great actor. Haven't you all seen The Shawshank Redemption?"

We were like...

And our teacher was like.

@Edwin L. J. Pradeep

生物老师跟我们讲，病毒传播威力太强大了，除了生物，他们连电脑都不放过的。

When my Biology teacher told me that viruses were so infectious that other than living beings they had started to attack computers as well.

@Prajwal Acharya

那个老师一进我们班，我就知道他说出来的不可能是对的，不不不，应该是他说的永远都不可能是对的。听了学长学姐对他的吐槽，我心里更加感到深深的不安。在一节关于加速度的课上，我们“物理老湿”说，“车减速之后就倒着开了”，自此他终于原形毕露，节操已经碎了一地。那一刻，大家只是希望，刚才我们什么都没听见。。。

I knew from the moment he set foot in our class that whatever he would say cannot, wait...scratch it, whatever he would say will never be right. My qualms on him was further fueled by anecdotes of him recounted by my seniors. Everything became crystal clear about my PHYSICS TEACHER when he dropped this pearl during an accelerations class: "A CAR TRAVELS IN REVERSE DIRECTION IF IT DECELERATES." All of us at that moment simply wished we hadn't heard that.

@Niharika Banerjee

历史老师教第一次世界大战时，他一遍又一遍地把奥地利说成是澳大利亚。

While teaching World War l, my history teacher involved Australia in the war instead of Austria. Repeatedly.

@ Ashutosh Kumar

上高中时，一个助教让我们不要过度使用太阳能，否则太阳能就会迅速减弱，最后，太阳能在200年内就会耗尽。我们当时就震惊了，笑到根本停不下来。

Once our tutor in high school told us that we should not use solar energy excessively. The excessive use of sunlight would decrease the power of the sun at a very fast rate and, eventually, this would lead to exhaustion of the sun's energy in 200 years. We were shocked and couldn't control our laughter.

@ Manpreet Singh

我记得两件事：

老师当时在给我们讲摆在世界面前的全球性议题，自然而然扯到“温室效应”这个术语了。他告诉我们，温室效应就是说，我们周围的一切都开始变绿了。事到如今，我想想他的话还是忍不住发笑啊。

教我们信号系统的老师曾对一本书爱不释手。于是，所有的考题都从那本书找，还要按照书中“标准答案”给我们打分。我记得我一哥儿们就因为他的答案是1/2，而书里提到的是0.5，就华丽丽地被扣了分。

I remember 2 instances:

Teacher was telling us about global issues world is facing and term Green House Effect came. He told us that green house effect is the situation when everything that surrounds us starts turning green. I still laugh when I remember his words. Our signal and system teacher used to have a favourite book.

All questions in exam were set from that book only and she used to give marks on the basis of whether student's answer matches answer in book. I remember she deducted marks of my friend because he wrote answer as 1/2 and in the book it was mentioned as 0.5.

@Vrinda Wakhlu

这说的就是我的英语老师。他呢，教数学比较多的，那一年不知道咋回事，教我们英语了。当时他叫每个人都在全班面前朗读。一个一个来的那种。轮到我了，我读到tiny这个单词时，他打断我，纠正我说应该读成tin-ny，他在全班面前这样读真的好傻啊！各位看官你们知道最离谱的是什么吗？倒不是他自以为是，而是他竟然也让我在全班面前那样读！

It was my English teacher. He usually taught Maths, but somehow he was teaching us English that year. He was making us all read to the whole class, one by one. When my turn came up, he stopped me on the word tiny. He said the right way to pronounce it was tin-ny, making him look like a ninny in front of the whole class! You know what was worse? Not him being too arrogant to correct his mistake, but him making me pronounce it his way in front of the whole class!

@Pranesh Anantharaman

学校计算机老师跟我们讲，“要保持电脑干净，用键盘打字后要洗手，不然病毒更有可能侵入身体哦！”

注：这儿说的病毒可不是生物病毒，而是电！脑！病！毒！

When my computer science teacher in school told us, "Keep the computer clean, wash your hands after typing in keyboards. Else there is a higher chance that virus may enter your body ! "

PS : The virus referred here is the computer virus and not the biological virus!

@Arpit Jain

有一次，英语老师给我讲了人类活动是如何破坏环境的，最终也导致了恐龙灭绝。。。

Once my English teacher told me how the human activities degraded the environment which led to the extinction of dinosaurs.

@Rohit Raj

一个教过我的老师说，我们之所以受地球引力的影响，是因为我们的身体里含有铁元素。

One of my teachers had once told that the reason why we are attracted by the gravitational pull of the earth is due to IRON present in our bodies !!!!!

@Rishabh Kapur

When our cyber law teacher told us that cyber space is the distance between two computers.

教网络法的老师告诉我们，网络空间就是指两台电脑间的距离。

小贴士

回复下面【】内的关键词可以直接查看往期精彩内容哦！

【021】盘点硅谷高科技公司最亲睐的20个大学！

【022】未来30年，我们将面临怎样的职业世界？（深度好文）

【023】美国留学打工那些酷酷的工作

【024】网申美国大学最易出错的问题大汇总！

【025】到底给多少小费比较合适？美国不同情形下的小费标准