名师范文:你会写“手机”吗?

2017年09月13日 环球雅思墨尔本分校



Teachers' time

环球写作名师,我们活泼可爱的Jenny老师终于有时间写了一篇让大家最近很头疼的一篇关于手机的文章。烤鸭们还不赶紧来围观~ 注意!是围观作文




考场速递

Mobile phones are used both for work and personal phone calls every time a day, every day of the week. Do you think it makes more positive or negative effects both for individuals?

In this modern age, numerous individuals use cellphones for both business and personal purposes on a daily basis. This essay will examine both the merits and drawbacks of this phenomenon and elucidate the reason why it may be more disadvantageous.


Admittedly, the most obvious benefit of using a mobile phone no matter the user is at home or in the workplace is that it enables instant communication by eliminating the limitation of distance, which is helpful and may even be life-saving especially when urgent situations occur. Taking cardiologists as an example, they are on-call almost 24 hours a day in case of an emergency happening. Mobile phones help them to be contacted out of the hospital immediately after a patients heart condition suddenly deteriorates and to go back to save within the best rescue time.


However, anything that is used in excess can result in negative outcomes. Involving mobile phones in nearly every aspect of individuals daily lives cause constant interruption to them. On the one hand, if someone always picks up work related calls when having bounding time with families or friends, those people who are with them may have a sense of not being respected and hence feel uncomfortable. On the other hand, important tasks may be delayed if employees procrastinate because of addictively checking social media applications on their phones.


In addition, over-depending on cellphones impedes peoples capabilities to interact with others in the real life, which is detrimental for different relationships they have. The quality of a get-together may be affected by many factors such as body languages and facial expressions like hugging and smiling, and these ways to express individuals emotions cannot be achieved by purely talking through phones. If these experiences are less practiced and replaced by only verbal and virtual communication, mobile phones act as the hindrances of peoples real life interaction  


In conclusion, like any other electronic devices, cellphones have both advantages and disadvantages. Notwithstanding of the fact that mobiles allow people to be reached in the time of emergency, they may still be more harmful by causing distractions and inhibits peoples relationships.


Jenny老师寄语

嘻嘻,这周澳洲考场同学们碰到了这个“练习了一万遍”的题目--- 手机!但是,写这样和我们生活息息相关话题时,我们的文章,真的可以在考官眼中脱颖而出吗?


这道题目在审题的时候,关键是看得到题目是问当手机是同时用来接生活和工作电话的影响,如果我们审题不仔细的话, 只是单纯写了手机的影响,在TR会丢分哦:)


这篇范文从随时可以接工作电话使得一些紧急情况可以被处理的好处,和经常使用手机会是我们分心并且影响我们的人际关系三方面去分析这道题。希望可以帮到烤鸭们:)


看完范文以后也要快快放下手机享受今天墨尔本的阳光魅力,然后精神满满继续学习奋斗哦!



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