【雅思范文+解析】雅思写作Task 2:Crime话题范文

2017年09月14日 悉尼环雅



题目:


Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime.


To what extent do you agree or disagree?


有些人进了监狱之后放出来就变乖了,一些人觉得这些人是最适合去给青少年现身说法的。多大程度上同意还是不同意?


考官范文:



1.开头段:完全同意题目的观点
It is true that ex-prisoners can become normal, productive members of society. I completely agree with the idea that allowing such people to speak to teenagers about their experiences is the best way to discourage them from breaking the law.

2.主体段:(第一个理由):犯人可以告诉青少年他们真实的犯罪经历。年轻人会相信并被这些真实的故事所震慑,然后举例子
In my opinion, teenagers are more likely to accept advice from someone who can speak from experience. Reformed offenders can tell young people about how they became involved in crime, the dangers of a criminal lifestyle, and what life in prison is really like. They can also dispel any ideas that teenagers may have about criminals leading glamorous lives. While adolescents are often indifferent to the guidance given by older people, I imagine that most of them would be extremely keen to hear the stories of an ex-offender. The vivid and perhaps shocking nature of these stories is likely to have a powerful impact.

3.主体段:(第二个理由):让老师或警察来教育年轻人,不过这几个效果不一定很好
The alternatives to using reformed criminals to educate teenagers about crime would be much less effective. One option would be for police officers to visit schools and talk to young people. This could be useful in terms of informing teens about what happens to lawbreakers when they are caught, but young people are often reluctant to take advice from figures of authority. A second option would be for school teachers to speak to their students about crime, but I doubt that students would see teachers as credible sources of information about this topic. Finally, educational films might be informative, but there would be no opportunity for young people to interact and ask questions.

4.总结段:总结观点
In conclusion, I fully support the view that people who have turned their lives around after serving a prison sentence could help to deter teenagers from committing crimes.
(287 words, band 9)


必记改写:

1.I completely agree with the idea that=I fully support the view that


2.become normal, productive members of society= turned their lives around


3.ex-prisoners=after serving a prison sentence


4.discourage them=deter teenagers


5.breaking the law=committing crimes





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