托福写作十宗罪,这些错你犯了几条?

2018年03月20日 TTL星腾科高端留美


考场上的你总是手忙脚乱~

本来信心满满写作这次一定能上25

结果一不留神就犯下了低级错误…

今天我们就来说一说<托福写作十宗罪>


1、不一致


不一致(Disagreements)除了主谓不一致之外,还包括数的不一致、时态不一致及代词不一致等等。


例如: Watching TV too much are bad for our eyes.

看电视太久会对我们的视力造成伤害。


剖析:不定式、v-ing形式充当句子主语时,谓语动词用单数形式。本句是典型的主谓不一致。同学们在考场上难免紧张,很容易无意识地犯下这种不该犯的错误。建议同学们留出10分钟左右的时间,逐句检查。


改为:Watching TV too much is bad for our eyes.


2、句子不完整


写作和口语有一个极大的不同之处,就是在口语当中,说话人即使表达不完整,听者也能通过上下文语境、手势、表情等,理解对方的意思。可是写作却不同,句子结构的不完整(Sentence Fragments)会令意思表达不清,可能使读者二丈和尚摸不着头脑。这种情况经常会发生在写完一句句子之后,笔者又想对前面一句话添加一些补充时发生。


例如:There are many ways to learn English. For example by reading English novels, listening to English radio, taking courses and so on.


剖析:后半部分“For example ……and so on .”不是一个完整的句子,仅为一些不连贯的词语,不能独立成句。


改为:There are many ways to learn English, for example by reading English novels, listening to English radio or taking courses.


3、悬垂修饰语


悬垂修饰语(Dangling Modifiers)是指句首的短语与后面句子的逻辑关系混乱不清。


例如:To help raise people’s living standards, basic healthcare is a necessity.


剖析:句中不定式短语 “To help raise people’s living standards” 的逻辑主语不清楚。


改为:To help raise people's living standards, the government should provide basic healthcare.


4、不间断句子


不间断句子(Run-on Sentences)指的到底是什么呢?请看下面的例句。


例如:There are many ways we get to know the outside world.


剖析:这个句子包含了两层完整的意思:“There are many ways。” 以及“We get to know the outside world.”但简单地把它们连在一起就不太妥当了。


改为:There are many ways for us to learn about the outside world. 或:There are many ways through which we can become acquainted with the outside world.


5、词性误用


词性误用(Misuse of Parts of Speech)指的是考生在写作的过程中,不考虑单词的词性和词法功能,单纯地从词义对照的角度出发来运用单词,从而造成病句。


例如:I against these rules because they are not so good.   


剖析:本句是典型的词性误用,against 是一个介词。需要与be 动词一起构成谓语成分。


改为: I am against these rules because they are useless.   


6、指代不清


指代不清是指代词与被指代的人或物关系不清,或者出现前后代词不一致的情况。


例如:Alice and my sister are neighbors, and she always invites her to her house.


剖析:在这句话中,读者无法明确地判断这两位姑娘到底是谁邀请谁去家里做客。所以在写作中,我们应该尽量避免容易引起误解的代词,将所指对象加以明确,方便理解。


改为:Alice and my sister are neighbors, and she always invites my sister to her house.


7、措词问题


造成措辞问题的原因,往往是由于很多中国的学生习惯用中式思维造句,然后再在脑子里把中文翻译成英文。特别是在考场上由于时间紧迫,学生经常想到一个词,拿来就用,完全不考虑措辞的搭配是否合理。另外,很多学生喜欢在考前背老师给的,或者是网上自己找的模板,这些模板良莠不齐,很容易对学生造成误导。正确的做法应该是在平时养成查英英字典的好习惯,同时多积累一些地道的表达。


例如:Therefore, teenagers are more likely to make a crime in this sophisticated society.


剖析:这句话中“make a crime”就是典型的措辞误用,“犯罪“的地道表达应该是”commit a crime”。 其次,很多同学喜欢写一些看上去很长,拼写很复杂,不明觉厉的词,例如这句话中的“sophisticated”,以为会让考官眼前一亮,但英文中实际不存在这种搭配,复杂的社会用“in this complicated society”比较合适。


改为:Therefore, teenagers are more likely to commit crimes in this complicated society.


8、累赘


言简意赅其实也是一种能力。句子短小精悍,实际上比为了凑字数而写出不必要的长句要有用得多。因此我们的原则是:能用单词的就不用词组,能用词组的就不用从句。


例如: Considering the fact that the problem is very complex,the government needs to take more targeted measures.


剖析:本句的“the fact that the problem is very complex”系同谓语从句,按照上述的原则,我们可以用词组来替换这个从句。


改为:Considering the complexity of problem,the government needs to take more targeted measures.


9、不连贯


不连贯主要指的是两个句子缺乏逻辑上的联系,前文不搭后语,或者连接词使用的不准确。这也是考生最常犯的一个错误。所以在练习写作时,必须要有意识地加强句子之间的逻辑。


例如:Home-working enables employees to make a better balance between career and family. Working at home can free people from the sudden changes of weather.


剖析:乍一看,这两句句子表达清晰,用词正确,好像没有什么错误,但却忽略了两句句子之间的联系。两句话都是描述在家工作的优点,我们可以用“what’s more”、”in addition”等词来表达一种递进关系,这样就使文章的层次更丰富。


改为:Home-working enables employees to make a better balance between career and family. In addition, working at home can free people from the sudden changes of weather.


10、修饰语错位


英语与汉语不同,同一个修饰语置于句子不同的位置,句子的含义可能引起变化。对于这一点中国学生往往没有引起足够的重视,因而造成了不必要的误解。


例如:The refrigerator was sold to us by a salesman with a money-back guarantee.


剖析:本句中究竟是salesman有money-back guarantee,还是冰箱有?虽然也许能根据句意推断出是冰箱有退款保证,但是这里的修饰语错位还是给读者带来了不小的困扰。


改为:The refrigerator with a money-back guarantee was sold to us by a salesman.


你躺枪了几条?



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