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最近,传说中“别人家的孩子”、超级学霸Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld的一篇名为“如何像哈佛学生一样学习”的博客文章火爆国外社交网络。
你可能还不知道这位本科毕业于哈佛、研究生毕业于耶鲁的Sophia小姐姐,但是提起她的母亲你一定熟悉,就是那位令美国人闻风丧胆、中国人感同身受的“虎妈”——蔡美儿女士(Amy Chua)。
想当年,美国老百姓对于蔡女士的讨论已经达到1957年苏联抢在美国之前发射第一颗人造卫星的高度。
“虎妈”蔡美儿(左)和Sophia(右)
她甚至在2011年被美国《时代》周刊选入全球最具影响力人物100强。
《时代》周刊是这样评价蔡美儿给整个美国带来的“冲击”的:
Amy Chua, 48, started a firestorm when she published her memoir, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. When an entire nation reacts so strongly to something, you know you have hit a nerve. And Amy did. She hit us where it hurts, questioning our parenting, our kids' educational achievement and our nation's ability to compete globally in today's world.
48岁蔡美儿写的《虎妈战歌》带来了一场火焰风暴。当一个国家举国对一件事情反应强烈时,你就会知道,这件事情触及了他们的神经。蔡美儿做到了,她戳到了我们的痛处。她质疑我们养育孩子的方式,质疑我们的孩子的学术成就,质疑今天我国是否有能力与别的国家竞争。
虎妈蔡美儿
蔡女士于2011年出版《虎妈战歌》(Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother),书中纪录了一位典型中国式老母亲对于两个女儿(姐姐Sophia和妹妹Lulu)的严厉管教。蔡美儿曾获哈佛大学文学学士、法学博士,又身为耶鲁大学法学院终身教授,她容不得女儿们有半点懈怠。
她为姐妹俩制定十条家规,自称“采用咒骂、威胁、贿赂、利诱等种种高压手段,要求孩子沿着父母为其选择的道路努力”。
学霸Sophia的童年时光被母亲安排得无比紧凑,她18个月认字母表,3岁阅读《小妇人》并开始学钢琴,14岁在卡耐基音乐大厅演奏。
蔡美儿在监督女儿弹琴
她曾在一次数学考试中输给韩国小朋友,屈居第二。然而蔡女士词典里怎能容得下第二,当晚蔡美儿命女儿每晚做试卷20张,张张100道速算,蔡女士则在一旁掐秒表计时。经一周强化训练,Sophia次次考试稳拿第一。
在Sophia不听话时,母亲还会骂她“垃圾”,因为蔡女士自己小时候就是被父亲这么骂大的。
蔡美儿还曾拒绝两个女儿亲手为她制作的生日卡片,因为她觉得做得太粗糙了根本没有用心,并对姐妹俩说:“我值得比这更好的礼物”。
蔡美儿一家
参加没意义的同学聚会?想都不要想。
蔡女士觉得时间超宝贵,浪费在无脑聚会上简直愚蠢。有一次Sohpia想要参加最好朋友的生日聚会,蔡美儿心一软就答应了,之后无比后悔,因为Sophia第二天一到家就无心练琴。蔡女士一打听才知道女儿一整晚都在听一位同学谈论对性的神秘尝试。
一向崇尚开放、鼓励式教育的美国人读罢此书觉得蔡女士简直丧心病狂,心疼地说Sophia和她的妹妹Lulu是“世界上受虐最多的孩子”,并预言她们长大后一定会有心理疾病,性格冷酷而呆板,有一天甚至会自杀。
如今,那些唱衰的群众估计要啪啪打脸了。本科毕业于哈佛的Sophia又刚刚从耶鲁的法学研究生院毕业。她还加入美国军法部队,成了一名二级少尉。她将会在华盛顿巡回法院任职一年,这之后,还会为部队效力三年。妹妹Lulu也从将从哈佛大学艺术历史系毕业,她决定前往纽约工作一年再去研究生院深造。
性格冷酷而呆板?似乎并没有。Sophia聪明开朗、努力认真,而她的大学生活过得丰富多彩,经常受邀去参加朋友们的各种派对。
人们猜想成年后的Sophia在终有一天挣脱母亲的“魔爪”后会与母亲疏离,然而事实并非如此。《纽约邮报》发表了Sophia写给母亲的信,信中Sophia表达了对妈妈的爱与感谢。
在她看来,世人误解了妈妈蔡美儿。妈妈在养育她们的过程中教会了她们如何独立思考,更重要的是教会了她们如何拼尽全力、用力地生活。
这份拼劲全力会让她坦然面对命运抛给她的一切题目,即使明天就会面对死亡,她也会觉得自己曾经110%地活着。
她写道:
I admit it: Having you as a mother was no tea party. But now that I’m 18 and about to leave the tiger den, I’m glad you and Daddy raised me the way you did.
我承认,有你做我的妈妈绝不是件轻松的事。但是现在我18岁了,将要离开“虎穴”面对世界。我很高兴你和爸爸用你们的方式养育了我。
A lot of people have accused you of producing robot kids who can’t think for themselves. At any rate, I was thinking about this, and I came to the opposite conclusion: I think your strict parenting forced me to be more independent.
很多人控诉你,说你像制造机器人一样养育你的孩子,她们不会有独立思考的能力的。我也一直在思考这个问题,而我的结论与大家相反,我觉得你的严苛反而让我更加独立。
对于贺卡事件Sophia也做了回应:
Everybody’s talking about the birthday cards we once made for you, which you rejected because they weren’t good enough. Funny how some people are convinced that Lulu and I are scarred for life. Maybe if I had poured my heart into it, I would have been upset. But let’s face it: The card was feeble, and I was busted. It took me 30 seconds; I didn’t even sharpen the pencil. That’s why, when you rejected it, I didn’t feel you were rejecting me. If I actually tried my best at something, you’d never throw it back in my face.
很多人对于你因为我们的贺卡不够好,就将其拒绝的事不能释怀。有趣的是,他们竟认为我们会因此永远留下心理阴影。如果我真的用心做了那张卡片,我或许会失落。但事实是,那张卡片确实很烂,我的不用心被你发现了。我只花了30秒做那张卡片,甚至连铅笔都没削。这也是为什么,当你拒绝这张卡片时,我知道你并不是在拒绝我。如果我真的尽力去做了,你是绝对不会把它甩在我脸上的。
I remember walking on stage for a piano competition. I was so nervous, and you whispered, “Soso, you worked as hard as you could. It doesn’t matter how you do.”
我还记得在钢琴比赛登台之前,我紧张得不行,你就在我耳边跟我说,“Soso,你已经尽了最大的努力了,这次弹得怎样都没关系。”
Sophia说,母亲教会了自己,只有在体验过超越身心的极限后,才能坦然面对一切。
There’s one more thing: I think the desire to live a meaningful life is universal. To some people, it’s working toward a goal. To others, it’s enjoying every minute of every day. So what does it really mean to live life to the fullest? Maybe striving to win a Nobel Prize and going skydiving are just two sides of the same coin.
还有一件事,我觉得世上的人都想拥有有意义的一生。对有些人来说,这意味着朝着一个目标努力,对有些人来说,则是开心过好每一天每一秒。所以怎样才是真正地好好活着?可能努力赢得诺贝尔奖和挑战跳伞只是一个硬币的两面。
To me, it’s not about achievement or self-gratification. It’s about knowing that you’ve pushed yourself, body and mind, to the limits of your own potential. You feel it when you encounter a life-changing idea, and when you do something on your own that you never thought you could. If I died tomorrow, I would die feeling I’ve lived my whole life at 110 percent.
对我来说,好好活着不仅是取得成就或自我满足,而是知道自己的身体、心智都已拼尽全力、用尽潜力。你会在改变命运的时刻,在你完成自己都不相信能完成的任务时体会到这种感觉。如果我明天死去,我也会觉得我曾经110%地活着。
回到文章开头说的那篇学习攻略,这是Sophia在博客上发表的一篇博文。不少网友看后感叹,原来一直以来自己的学习方法都是错的……
现在,就让我们来看看这位学霸姐姐火遍社交媒体的学习攻略吧:
How to Study Like a Harvard Student
如何像一个哈佛学生一样学习
✩ Preliminary Steps
预备步骤
1. Choose classes that interest you. That way studying doesn’t feel like slave labor. If you don’t want to learn, then I can’t help you.
选择你喜欢的课程,这样你的学习就不会像服苦役一样。如果你不想学,那我也帮不了你。
2. Make some friends. See steps 12, 13, 23, 24.
交一些朋友,详见步骤12、13、23、24。
✩ General Principles
总则
3. Study less, but study better.
少学,但学得高效。
4. Avoid "autopilot" brain at all costs.
千万不要让你的大脑天马行空“自动驾驶”。
5. Vague is bad. Vague is a waste of your time.
含糊不明是不好的,含糊不明浪费时间。
6. Write it down.
该写的写下来。
7. Suck it up, buckle down, get it done.
咬牙挺住,全力以赴,完成学业。
✩ Plan of Attack Phase I: Class
学习攻略,第一阶段:课堂
8. Show up. Everything will make a lot more sense that way, and you will save yourself a lot of time in the long run.
请去上课。这样的话很多事情都会容易很多,到头来你会发现自己其实节省了时间。
9. Take notes by hand. I don’t know the science behind it, but doing anything by hand is a way of carving it into your memory. Also, if you get bored you will doodle, which is still a thousand times better than ending up on Stumbleupon or something.
手写记笔记。我不知道其中的科学奥秘,但是手写记录是让知识刻进大脑的一种方式。而且如果你学烦了,就会自己在纸上乱画,这也比你学着学着就开始刷社交网络要强很多。
✩ Phase II: Study Time
第二部分:学习时间
10. Get out of the library. The sheer fact of being in a library doesn’t fill you with knowledge. Eight hours of Facebooking in the library is still eight hours of Facebooking. Also, people who bring food and blankets to the library and just stay there during finals week start to smell weird. Go home and bathe. You can quiz yourself while you wash your hair.
别迷信图书馆。赤裸裸的现实就是如果你不想学,呆在图书馆里你也不会学的。在图书馆刷了八小时脸书还是刷了八小时脸书。而且那些在考试周把食物和毯子带去图书馆过夜的人,结果只会让自己闻起来怪怪的。回家洗个澡,你可以在洗澡的时候自己考自己。
11. Do a little every day, but don’t let it be your whole day. “This afternoon, I will read a chapter of something and do half a problem set. Then, I will watch an episode of South Park and go to the gym” always beats “Starting right now, I am going to read as much as I possibly can…oh wow, now it’s midnight, I’m on page five, and my room reeks of ramen and dysfunction.”
每天完成一个小任务,但是别让这个任务占满你的一天。“今天下午,我只读一个章节,然后完成半页问题。然后我去看一集《南方公园》,再去健身房。”这永远比下面这种情况高效:“从现在开始,我要使劲学习,能学多少学多少……哦我的天已经深夜了,我才看到第五页,我的房间里都是泡面的怪味儿。”
12. Give yourself incentive. There’s nothing worse than a gaping abyss of study time. If you know you’re going out in six hours, you’re more likely to get something done.
给自己一些激励。没有啥比落入苦学的无底深渊更糟糕了,如果你知道6个小时后就能出去玩,你就有可能更快完成功课。
13. Allow friends to confiscate your phone when they catch you playing Angry Birds. Oh and if you think you need a break, you probably don’t.
如果被朋友撞见你在玩游戏,允许他们没收你的手机。对了,如果你觉得需要歇会儿了,其实你并不需要。
✩ Phase III: Assignments
第三阶段:作业
14. Stop highlighting. Underlining is supposed to keep you focused, but it’s actually a one-way ticket to Autopilot Brain. You zone out, look down, and suddenly you have five pages of neon green that you don’t remember reading. Write notes in the margins instead.
别用马克笔划重点了。把重点画下来也许是为了让自己更专注,但这有时候是纵容大脑开启自动驾驶模式。你在那里画啊画啊,然后你发现你画绿了5页书,什么也没看进脑子里。不如在书的空白处记笔记吧。
15. Do all your own work. You get nothing out of copying a problem set. It’s also shady.
所有功课自己完成。抄作业什么用也没有,还挺不光彩的。
16. Read as much as you can. No way around it. Stop trying to cheat with Sparknotes.
尽量去看书,没有捷径。别再用文学指南网站来假装自己看过书了。
17. Be a smart reader, not a robot (lol). Ask yourself: What is the author trying to prove? What is the logical progression of the argument? You can usually answer these questions by reading the introduction and conclusion of every chapter. Then, pick any two examples/anecdotes and commit them to memory (write them down). They will help you reconstruct the author’s argument later on.
做一个聪明的读者,而不是机器人。问问自己:作者究竟想要证明什么?他论证的逻辑脉络是什么?你可以从每章的开篇介绍及结论部分找到答案。然后找一两个例子记下来(写下来),日后它们会帮你重新构建作者的观点。
18. Don’t read everything, but understand everything that you read. Better to have a deep understanding of a limited amount of material, than to have a vague understanding of an entire course. Once again: Vague is bad. Vague is a waste of your time.
不要想着读遍所有的书,但是要理解你读的每一本书。深刻理解有限的资料比模糊理解所有资料要好得多。再说一遍, 模棱两可是很不好的,模棱两可就是浪费时间。
19. Bullet points. For essays, summarizing, everything.
列出要点。用这种方式去写论文,写总结,做任何事情。
✩ Phase IV: Reading Period (Review Week)
第四阶段:阅读(复习周)
20. Once again: do not move into the library. Eat, sleep, and bathe.
再说一遍,别住进图书馆。要吃,要睡,要洗澡。
21. If you don’t understand it, it will definitely be on the exam. Solution: textbooks; the internet.
如果这个知识点你不会,那它就一定会被考到。解决办法就是,回去看教材, 上网查资料。
22. Do all the practice problems. This one is totally tiger mom.
一道练习题都不要放过,这是虎妈教的。
23. People are often contemptuous of rote learning. Newsflash: even at great intellectual bastions like Harvard, you will be required to memorize formulas, names and dates. To memorize effectively: stop reading your list over and over again. It doesn’t work. Say it out loud, write it down. Remember how you made friends? Have them quiz you, then return the favor.
人们总是轻视死记硬背。 但是你知道吗,即便在哈佛这种聪明人云集的地方,你还是会被要求背诵公式、人名、日期。怎样背诵才能更有效呢?别把你要背的东西反复看来看去了,没用的。要大声念出来,写下来。还记得你交的朋友吗?让他们考考你,你也考考他们。
24. Again with the friends: ask them to listen while you explain a difficult concept to them. This forces you to articulate your understanding. Remember, vague is bad.
还是和朋友有关的建议,你可以让他们听你解释一个很难的概念,这会逼着你清楚表达你所理解的知识。记得我说的吗,模棱两可是很不好的。
25. Go for the big picture. Try to figure out where a specific concept fits into the course as a whole. This will help you tap into Big Themes – every class has Big Themes – which will streamline what you need to know. You can learn a million facts, but until you understand how they fit together, you’re missing the point.
掌握宏观的知识脉络。弄明白一个具体概念是在你所学的知识的哪一部分,这会帮你掌握一个大理论,而每一门课都会有一个大理论,它会帮你串起所有的知识点。你会学到无数个知识点,但是只有当你把知识点都串起来了,你才不会错过要点。
✩ Phase V: Exam Day
第五阶段:考试
26. Crush exam. Get A.
完爆试卷,考个A!
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