【经典范文】高大上8分写作:Violence in films and on TV,澳洲新梦想雅思微信公众号文章

看完李仪的经验分享后，这里和小伙伴们一起给大家分享她的一篇范文。本文的Topic是许多中国考生感到难以下手的，在听过卡尔老师的brainstorming课以及认真完成老师的课后作业后，李仪已经可以成功完成这样的佳作。文中可见对Cohesive device (红字标出)，以及7分以上词汇(蓝字标出)的娴熟运用。请小伙伴们欣赏。

The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this issue?

The influence of violent television programs and movies on young people has been a significant concern in the community.(经典的background sentence) Many people may posit (高大上的词汇，用于提出自己观点) that there is a correlation between crime rates and (高大上+1，用于显示原因和结果)the number of violent show on screens. It is my contention that (agree/disagree 卡尔老师钦点的提出自己观点的句式)it may not be feasible (可行的) to ban those shows and alternatives are available.

A lot of crimes committed by teenagers are copied from the television. These people are usually in a phase of rebellion (准确的Topic 词汇)before turning into adults. Watching violent TV series glorified on television make them believe that such behavior is acceptable. Thus, adolescents (Teenagers的替换词) are prone to (7分以上结构,记得后面要接比较负面的内容哦) imitate them and break the law in the process.

Admittedly, banning those types of shows will alleviate (7+经典词汇，缓和减轻，用在此处十分恰当) the situation to some extent. Be that as many, there are a myriad of (很多的，数不清的，大数量级的高级替换词) other underlying causes of youth crimes. It is noteworthy that the impact from one's upbringing is imperative (7+词汇双刀流) and more often, those who come from high socio-economic backgrounds (准确的表达) may have a lower tendency (准确的表达+1) to commit crime than those from lower socio-economic backgrounds.(同样结构，有高有低) That being said, teenagers have a tendency to imitate behaviors of their parents and thus, could result in different behaviors of the young.

Moreover, whether a ban is feasible may be dubious (雅思新梦想高频词汇)due to the fact that many adults are keen to watch violent movies and programs. The producers of those products are making a myriad of profits out of them. They just will not simply give up the right to do so because of their potential impact on young people. It is also noteworthy that shows of such kind have put up notices on screens to recommend suitable age groups for them.

To sum up, there are alternatives to imposing a ban on explicit media (7+话题词汇，结尾致命一刀流). It is tentatively suggested that families can play a greater role when tacking with this issue.