澳洲旅游常识问答集锦，这些问题收录于“神奇的澳大利亚”旅游资讯网站常见问题页，让你见识一下幽默的澳洲人！部分回答，不要信以为真哦~
澳大利亚初级简明地图
Q: Do you have electricity in Australia?
问：你们澳大利亚有电吗？
A: Yes, but not everywhere, at Cape Tribulation in the Daintree, North Queensland, we don't. More info.
答：有，但不是哪儿都有。比如昆士兰州北边，位于丹翠热带雨林地区的“苦难角”，就没有。更多信息……
译注：丹翠热带雨林（Daintree Rainforest），与大堡礁一样，是昆士兰著名旅游景点，亦是联合国教科文组织认定的世界遗产之一。这里主打的旅游特色就是原始、古老的丹翠树林，所以几乎不通电。但实际上，这里有分通电营地和不通电营地。在通电营地，别说电了，无线上网、自动售货机、刷卡买可乐之类的现代文明也是存在的。
Q: Will we see kangaroos hopping through the streets?
问：我们能在大街上看到袋鼠蹦蹦跳跳吗？
A: Yes, in Cooktown you can see them at night, and in Canberra they have come in to the city parks during droughts.
答：能，在昆士兰库克敦小镇，你夜里就能看到袋鼠了。堪培拉的话，旱季的时候袋鼠还会进城逛公园。
译注：这是真的。澳大利亚首都堪培拉是袋鼠“重灾区”，甚至一度是该市最大的交通隐患。1936年，据说一个猎户在野外打猎，他的两只猎犬自不量力袭击一群袋鼠，他怕狗出事，去救狗，结果自己被踢死了。这件事发生在新南威尔士州，也就是悉尼所在的州。但这一事件真实性已经无从考证。
(图为2010年墨尔本一只袋鼠上街被车撞了，挡住了电车轨道，警察不得不当场击毙袋鼠以清理路面，此事曾引发热议。)
Q: Will there be crocodiles in the streets?
问：街上有鳄鱼吗？
A: Only during high water, like during the king tides in Cairns where one poor croc got run over by a car in the industrial area and during the floods in Katherine where an aerial photograph showed a crocodile in the middle of the main street in front of the supermarket swimming along.
答：仅限满潮期，比如凯恩斯“大王潮”来时，曾经就有一只小鳄鳄在工业区被汽车碾压了。又比如北领地的卡特琳镇发大水的时候，有一张航拍照片，拍到一只鳄鱼在主干道上一家超市门口游泳。
译注：“大王潮”（King tides），根据昆士兰州政府海事安全网的官方介绍，是没有科学定义的民间说法，简而言之，就是比“普通潮”水位更高的潮。。。
Q: Do you have monkeys in Australia?
问：你们澳大利亚有猴子吗？
A: YES! Several zoos throughout Australia have monkeys! There are none in the wild, if you look at the world map and follow the islands of Indonesia along in you will notice that (if you have a good map) somehere to the east of Bali, there is a line on the map called the Wallace line. This is where Mr. Wallace, a Pommie biologist if I remember correctly, noted the changeover between Asian and Australian flora and fauna.
答：有！澳大利亚各地好几间动物园都有猴子！野外那就没有了。如果你看地图（如果你的地图靠谱的话），你从印度尼西亚的小岛出发，一直走到巴厘岛东边大概什么地方，这之间连起来有条线，叫“华莱士线”。如果我没记错的话，这是腐国生物学家华莱士先生标记的分界线，区分了亚洲与澳洲的动植物生态。
译注：这也是真的。当然具体说来可能细节不太准确，但大概就是这个意思，所以澳洲与亚洲的生物不同，澳洲没有野生猴子。有兴趣的自己找相关资料读吧。与野猴最接近的，就是野生袋鼠和负鼠了吧，在某些公园野外露营、烧烤啊什么的时候，经常遇到袋鼠和负鼠偷吃的，来澳洲住一段时间就见怪不怪了。
Below is a list of not too frequently asked questions:
下面是一些不那么常问的问题：
Q: Can I pick up my camper van in Auckland and drop it off in Darwin?(Belgium)
问：我能在奥克兰市领个露营车，然后到达尔文市还车么？（巧克力国）
A: Sure, take a ferry, change the registration plates from New Zealand to Australian, and find a way to calm down the people you rented it from when they hear where their vehicle has ended up.
答：当然可以，你搭个渡轮，把新西兰车牌照扔了，上个澳洲牌儿，然后打电话给租车公司，告诉他们，说他们家的车现在已经顺利出国了。记得好好安抚他们受伤的心，叫他们好好说话别骂人。
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
问：澳大利亚刮不刮风哒？我看电视上演的澳大利亚从来不下雨呢，植物可都怎么长啊？（腐国）
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
答：我们这儿的植物，全都是在外国种好了，直接进口的。种上以后，我们就不管啦，坐下来慢慢看它们死。
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
问：我能在街上看到袋鼠吗？（美国）
A: Depends how much you've been drinking
答：那得看你喝多少了。
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
问：我想从珀思步行到悉尼——我沿着铁路走能到么？（瑞典）
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...
答：当然能了，三千英里而已，小意思，多带点儿水。
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
问：我必须与一只小海豚布娃娃取得联系，请务必告诉我联系方式以及联系人的姓名和地址。（意大利）
A: Let's not touch this one.
答：咱问点儿别的呗。
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
问：澳大利亚有自动取款机吗（就是吐现金的机器）？你能列出布里斯班、凯恩斯、汤斯维尔、赫维湾等市的自动取款机，发个单子给我吗？（日不落帝国）
A: What did your last slave die of?
答：你家上回那个奴隶是怎么累死的来着？
译注：英国确实说cash machines，但是澳洲不这么讲，所以那个括号译出来大概就是这样的节奏。。。
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
问：澳大利亚哪边是北啊？（据说是目前世界上最强大的国家）
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
答：面朝正南，转九十度。从明天起，和我们通信，告诉我们你到了，我就会告诉你，其余⑨个方向的各种方向。陌生人，我为你祝福。
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
问：我能带刀叉餐具来澳洲吗？（卷福国）
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
答：为啥呀？你就用手抓嘛，入乡随俗。
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
问：你能发给我维也纳童声合唱团的表演时间表吗？
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
答：得——额——德，哥——唔——喔——国，德国，德国旁边有个老逗趣的小国家了，叫：奥——地——利……好吧算了不说了。好的大王，当然可以大王，维也纳童声合唱团，每周二在国王十字表演，紧接在赛河马之后。来时记得别穿衣服。
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
问：你们澳大利亚有香水吗？（香水国）
A: No, WE don't stink.
答：没有。我们身上不臭。
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
问：你们澳大利亚过圣诞节吗？（法国）
A: Only at Christmas.
答：只有圣诞节的时候才过。
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
问：悉尼有超市吗？全年都有牛奶卖吧？（德国）
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.
答：没有。我国文明开化、爱好和平，我们是严守素食主义的和谐狩猎采集民族。在我国，牛奶是非法商品。
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
问：请给我澳大利亚所有可以配发响尾蛇血清的医生名单。（令译者无力吐槽的国家）
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
答：响尾蛇生活在么——诶——美、哥——唔——喔——国，美国，也就是你的祖国！澳大利亚所有蛇都绝对无害，保证安全，居家宠物良伴。
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
问：我想问个问题，说澳大利亚有个特有名的动物，我想不起名字了。是一种熊，住在树上的。（美国）
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
答：这是叫“掉掉熊”。之所以叫这个名字，是因为他们会从桉树上掉下来，专吃树下面过路行人的脑子。你出门走路之前，记得全身喷涂人体尿液，这样就可以吓跑“掉掉熊”了。
Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
问：大部分地方还是能讲英语的吧？（又是美国）
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
答：对，但你先得学会英语。
Q: Dear Webmaster down under,
we are a middle-aged couple and have a little son of 6 who is very fond of animals. We thought of getting him an Australian pet and like to have your advice: Should it be a young croc, a koala or a cangaroo? And should we employ an aboriginal nanny at the same time to help our son getting along with the strange pet?
问：尊敬的南半球乡民网管，
我们是一对中年夫妇，有个小儿子6岁了，他很喜欢动物。我们想给他找个澳大利亚的动物当宠物，希望你们能给些建议：是小鳄鳄、考拉，还是袋鼠比较好呢？另外，我们应不应该同时请一个土著保姆，帮助我们的儿子与这个陌生的宠物之间培养感情？
A: Dear Fritz and Gretchen, the choice of the right pet depends on a few factors;
The crocodile will need water to swim, so you need to have a swimming pool or live near a lake. Your Aboriginal nanny will have to work seven days a week and watch the croc all the time, as the croc will grow and when it gets to about one and a half metre it can eat your son.
The koala will need to eat eucalyptus leaves, so you must have some of these trees in your garden, or in a nearby park where the Aboriginal nanny can walk the koala every day, but it must be kept on a leash as otherwise the koala can climb high up a tree and then when it gets stoned from eating the eucalyptus leaves it will fall asleep and not come down again for a few days.
If you get a big size kangaroo then your son can sit in the pouch and enjoy to ride around, but you will need a big house and a big garden to give the kangaroo enough space to jump around, the Aboriginal nanny can probably train the kangaroo to take your son to school and pick up again in the afternoon.
I hope this will help you to choose the right pet.
答：亲爱的弗里茨和格蕾岑（两个人名），选择合适的宠物，有以下几个因素需要考量：
鳄鱼需要水游泳，所以你们要有游泳池，或者住在湖边也行。你们请的土著保姆一周要工作七天，随时看好鳄鳄。鳄鳄会慢慢长大，大约长到一米半的时候，就可以吃你们的儿子了。
考拉需要吃桉树叶，所以你们要在花园里种些桉树，或者如果附近公园里有桉树也行，正好你的土著保姆每天还可以去公园遛考拉。但注意遛的时候要给考拉套上链子，不然它们就会爬到树上，爬得老高了，狂吃桉树叶，吃到跟吸毒似的神志不清，然后就睡着了，好几天都不下来。
如果你是养大号袋鼠，那你们的儿子可以爬到袋鼠的腹袋里，坐着袋鼠到处玩。不过，你得要有栋大房子、大花园，这样袋鼠才有足够空间到处跳啊。土著保姆没准可以训练一下袋鼠，教它送你们的儿子上下学。
希望以上内容有助于你们选宠。
Q: I have just moved to Australia and am not sure if you can buy kangaroo teeth in the supermarket. what do you suggest?
问：我刚到澳大利亚，不太确定能不能再超市买到袋鼠牙。你们有什么建议吗？
A: Did you mean meat or teeth?
答：你是说袋鼠牙还是袋鼠肉啊？
Q: I plan to take some day trips during the Olympics. Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth – to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)
问：奥运期间，我计划整几个一日游。我开车，是该从珀斯往达尔文方向开，还是从达尔文往珀斯方向开呢——我想开车的时候避开阳光直射我的眼睛。（德国）
A: Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in Sydney.
答：问得好！但是奥运会在悉尼举办。
Q: My client wants to take a steel pooper-scooper into Australia. Will you let her in? (South Africa)
问：我的客户想要带一把钢制的长柄粪铲赴澳。你们能放她过海关吗？（南非）
A: Why? We do have toilet paper.
答：为啥带呀？我们这儿厕所有手纸啊。
Q: Where can I learn underwater welding in Australia? (Portugal)
问：澳大利亚哪儿能学水下焊接啊，我想学。（葡萄牙）
A: Ask Kevin Costner.
答：去问凯文·科斯特纳。
Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany)
问：我能开车去大堡礁吗？（德国）
A: Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious. And do wear a snorkel.
答：当然可以，只要你的车是水陆两用的就行。另外记得开车时戴上潜水呼吸管。
Q: I want to go swimming at Bondi Beach on October 20th. Will I turn blue? (Germany)
问：10月20号那天我想去邦迪海滩游泳。我会不会冻死啊？（德国）
A: More likely brown, considering the effluent...
答：更有可能晒死，考虑到强烈的紫外线的话。。。
译注：悉尼10月底春末夏初，已经很暖和了，白天狂晒太阳一定会热出汗的。而且即使冬天，平均气温也有15摄氏度左右吧。turn blue，也可以说go blue，就是冻僵的意思，冻僵了就变蓝了嘛。
Q: Do the camels in Australia have one hump or two? (UK)
问：澳大利亚的骆驼是一个驼峰还是两个峰的？（英国）
A: Depends if you get an ugly one or not...
答：看你遇到的骆驼丑不丑噜。。。
Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
问：澳大利亚有没有杀人蜂呀？（德国）
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.
答：目前还没有，不过可以专门为您进口一些。
另外，实际上，虽然这些问题看似恶搞，但稍作调查，发现好像确实是恶搞。。。据民间野史记载，原来大部分此类旅游问答，竟然都是从当年悉尼奥运官网“海外游客问答”页面搜集而来，而答案据称都是当年奥组委官方提供的。。。真是服了！
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