2014年2月15日 雅思A类大作文范文

Some people think hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. Some, on the other hand, think there are other factors, such as appearance and material, behind a successful life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

 
Although diligence and working conscientiously are often attributed to succeeding in life as hard work is required for meaningful achievements, many argue that success is defined by other factors, such as physical appearance and material worth, so that others are able to identify those that are successful. However, a balance of both is ultimately required to leading a successful life.
(看完整个introduction，就明白作者想要表达的是一个balanced opinion，即两方面对成功来说都很重要。用词方面，例如diligence，ultimately都是可以学习和借鉴的写法。)

Superficial indicators of success, such as our appearance, are important to success as they show the people around us of our character. People areinherently social, and so much of how we view ourselves and how successful we deem ourselves is based off how we believe we’re viewed.By giving a positive outward image, whether it is through wearing flattering clothing or even perhaps showing off luxury goods that we can afford, we can affirm to others, and consequently ourselves, that we are successful people, giving us the confidence required to leading a successful life.
（这一段的词句写的很不错，烤鸭们不用刻意去模仿，但是类似于view ourself、give a positive outward image、lead a successful life这类的词组搭配却是非常值得学习的。）
 
However, it is short-sighted to simply focus on physical traits in the pursuit of success, often our own hard work and determination play a massive part in succeeding in life as these are vital to meaningful achievements in our lives. Any fruitful accomplishment cannot be achieved without due diligence because we often judge our successes through the work that must be invested to achieve it, the journey we must take to eventually realise an accomplishment. Without determination and putting in hard work, any achievement is meaningless and therefore cannot contribute to our sense of success.
(既然是balanced 的写法，那文章一定也要充分阐述另一方的观点。Topic sentence写的好不好，直接的影响到了task response的得分。)
 
Physical appearance and how we portray ourselves is indeed vital to leading a successful life, however, we cannot ignore the importance of working hard. Essentially, it is only through both of these can we attain a sense of achievement and success.
(conclusion段重申了自己的观点——both of these can we attain a sense of achievement and success.换一种方式paraphrase题目和全文的观点，是conclusion最重要的一个部分。这就很烤鸭考生们的词句能力。)

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