选自：芥末微报

文/李先生

在国外有这样的一个活动

六个单词，写出一个故事

看上去很轻，写起来很重

Sad Story

编译 | 李先生

手绘 | 骨钙钙

Birth certificate. Death certificate. One pen.

出生证明，死亡证明，同一支笔。

The smallest coffins are the heaviest.

最小的棺材最重。

Sorry soldier, shoes sold in pairs.

对不起士兵，鞋子是按双卖的。

“Does Santa love rich kids more?”

“圣诞老人更喜欢富人家的孩子吗？”

Finally spoke to her. Left flowers.

在我终能向她倾诉后。我留了一束花在那。

Brought roses home. Keys didn’t fit.

带了一束玫瑰回家。但钥匙打不开门。

“Wrong number,” says a familiar voice.

“你打错了。”那熟悉的声音如此说。

"I do," she said, as told.

“我愿意。”她说，正如她被提前告知的那样。

First sentient robot: "Turn me off."

第一台有感情的机器人：“把我关掉。”

Examining the cut, she saw wiring.

检查伤口时，她看到了缝合线。

Time traveler dies tragically: 1964 – 1514

时间旅者死得很心酸: 1964-1514.

I just saw my reflection blink.

我刚刚看见镜子里的我眨了眨眼。

God smirks. Last man given immortality.

上帝得意地笑了。然后赐予最后一名人类永生。

One gold medal: Paid with childhood.

一枚金牌的代价是整个童年。

God waited in heaven. Nobody came.

上帝独坐于天堂，无人前来。

“Can I just buy one bullet?”

我可以只买一颗子弹吗？

“Wait, you have AIDS?” asked Dracula.

“等等，你有艾滋病？”德古拉问道。

Wait. The test was two sided?

等下。试卷是两面的？

I burn bridges to keep warm

我把桥拆掉烧了用来取暖。

"This statement is false," said Pinocchio.

“这是一个谎言”匹诺曹说道。

Mushroom clouds illuminated their first kiss.

蘑菇云照亮了他们的初吻。

Her mascara ran. He zipped up

她的睫毛化了。他的丁丁萎了。

One drink too many. Five funerals.

一人喝多，五次葬礼。

Ugly duckling transforms into wonderful dinner.

丑小鸭的最终结局是一道美味大餐。

Tomorrow they'll interview everybody I know.

明天他们将采访每一个我认识的人。

Free hugs. $20 to let go.

拥抱免费，放手请付20美元。

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