中国留学生演讲又刷屏了!幽默自信超有梗,全场笑翻

2018年11月27日 美国研究生留学


作者:双语君

本文来源:中国日报双语新闻(Chinadaily_Mobile)

文章已获授权


近日,一位中国留学生在美国电影学院(American Film Institute,简称AFI)毕业典礼上的一段演讲在网络上热传。



这名中国留学生名叫孔乐琪(Vanessa),是AFI编剧专业的学生。这段演讲出自AFI今年8月份毕业典礼,当时赢得台上台下阵阵掌声和笑声。


当天,除她之外发言的都是获得荣誉博士的业界大牛。


比如《教父》三部曲的美术指导迪安·塔沃拉里斯(Dean Tavoularis)、曾获金球奖终身成就奖的演员朱迪·福斯特(Jodie Foster),还有AFI校长李察·N·格萊德斯坦(Richard N. Gladstein)


但乐琪充满自信,妙语连珠,当着众多好莱坞大咖的面毫不怯场。


演讲一开始,孔乐琪就幽默了一把。她不仅调侃外国人很难读对中文名,还介绍了自己英文名的由来,拿德普“开涮



Thank you so much Mr. Gladstein for pronouncing my name right. Or at least trying to. 

感谢格莱德斯坦先生念对了我的中文名, 您真的尽力了。


I chose the name Vanessa when I was 13 years old and madly in love with Johnny Depp, whose wife at the time was Vanessa Paradis. Who would have thought that 15 years later, I would be here in Hollywood. And Mr. Depp would be entrenched in a very serious rock'n'roll career and divorced twice, which means I have a chance now. At least he wouldn't have to change that "Vanessa Forever" tattoo.

我十三岁时选了凡妮莎这个名字,因为我超爱约翰尼·德普,他当时的妻子是凡妮莎·帕拉迪丝。谁能想到15年后我来到了好莱坞,德普先生却把摇滚玩得风生水起,还离了两次婚,现在我的机会来了,而且他连那个“挚爱凡妮莎”的文身都不用改


她还机智地找了个由头,让自己的名字和大名鼎鼎的朱迪·福斯特同框出现:



So Vanessa Kong is not my real name. Just like Dr. Jodie Foster, whose real name is Alicia Christian Foster.  

凡妮莎·孔不是我的真名,就像朱迪·福斯特教授一样,她的真名是艾丽西亚·克里斯汀·福斯特。


I just couldn't resist. This is probably the only chance I have to put my name and Dr. Foster's in the same sentence. I'm sorry. But not really. 

我真的控制不住我自己,这可能是唯一一次机会,能让我和福斯特教授的名字出现在一句话里。我为此道歉,但这真是太爽了!


除了各种抖包袱外,她也动情回忆了在AFI和同学们度过的美好时光,画风同样诙谐幽默!



Never in my life have I imagined I could be in an environment where we celebrate our differences, and find our voices through the conservatory itself. Our obsessive-compulsive producing family, our self-loving directing family, our very sexy cinematography family, our paint-speckled production design family, our pasty-faced editing family, and my brilliant, beautiful, employable screenwriting family.  

我这辈子都没有想过自己能身处这样一个环境,这里鼓励大家展示出不同之处,在学习中找到自己的声音:制片系是强迫症集中营,导演系的自恋狂堆成山,抵死性感的摄影系,油彩斑斑的美术系,面无血色的剪辑系,以及我们杰出、迷人、一心搬砖的编剧系。


conservatory [kən'sɜrvə.tɔri]:n. 音乐(或戏剧)专科学校(或学院),温室


孔乐琪就读的美国电影学院(AFI)占据着好莱坞的有利位置,号称电影人的摇篮。



校友都是电影行业的大咖,比如:


当代美国非主流电影的代表人物大卫·林奇(David Lynch),他可是戛纳电影节金棕榈奖、威尼斯电影节终身成就金狮奖等国际大奖的得主。



还有执导过《黑天鹅》等多部影响深远电影的达伦·阿伦诺夫斯基(Darren Aronofsky)



而今年代表全校同学做毕业演讲的孔乐琪,是第一位站上AFI毕业典礼演讲台的中国留学生。可以说十分优秀了!



孔乐琪的演讲风趣幽默,语言生动,是很好的学习素材。一起来看看双语版本吧!


Good morning, everyone!

各位早上好!


Can you believe this is happening? We’re finally graduating.

不敢相信这一天终于到了,我们终于要毕业啦!


Thank you so much Mr. Gladstein for pronouncing my name right. Or at least trying to. It is a hard name to pronounce for non-native speakers. That’s why in the US, I go by Vanessa.

感谢格莱德斯坦先生念对了我的中文名,或者说至少尽力念了。对于非中文母语的人来说,我的名字很难念。这就是为什么我在美国叫凡妮莎。


So Vanessa Kong is not my real name. Just like Dr. Jodie Foster, whose real name is Alicia Christian Foster. I just couldn't resist. This is probably the only chance I have to put my name and Dr. Foster's in the same sentence. I'm sorry. But not really.  

凡妮莎·孔不是我的真名,就像朱迪·福斯特教授一样,她的真名是艾丽西亚·克里斯汀·福斯特。我真的控制不住我自己,这可能是唯一一次机会,能让我和福斯特教授的名字出现在一句话里。我为此道歉,但这真是太爽了!


I chose the name Vanessa when I was 13 years old and madly in love with Johnny Depp, whose wife at the time was Vanessa Paradis. Who would have thought that 15 years later, I would be here in Hollywood. And Mr. Depp would be entrenched in a very serious Rock 'n' roll career and divorced twice, which means I have a chance now. And he doesn’t have to change that "Vanessa Forever" tattoo.

我十三岁时选了凡妮莎这个名字,因为我超爱约翰尼·德普,他当时的妻子是凡妮莎·帕拉迪丝。谁能想到15年后我来到了好莱坞,德普先生却把摇滚玩得风生水起,还离了两次婚,现在我的机会来了,而且他连那个“挚爱凡妮莎”的文身都不用改


It is a great honor to give this speech. An honor I don't think I fully deserve. Even though this is, technically, a Chinese theatre and I am Chinese. 

能够站在这里演讲是莫大的荣幸,我不敢说自己当之无愧。虽然这里恰好是一个中国剧院,而我是一个中国人。


(注:举行毕业典礼的场馆名叫好莱坞TCL中国大剧院,TCL Chinese Theatre)


Part of the reason I'm standing here is because I received massive assistance from my Chinese fellows. That's 20 percent of the AFI population right there, which is pretty much the same percentage of Chinese people in the world. Take my word for it. I'm Chinese. I'm good at math. It is true. We are taking over everything... one film school at a time. 

我之所以能站在这里要归功于我非常给力的中国同学,毕竟AFI百分之二十的学生都来自中国。差不多是中国人口占世界人口的比例了。相信我,我是中国人,数学很好的。这是真的,我们快要掌控一切了,一次搞定一家电影学院。


Jokes aside, the class of 2018 is a celebration of diversity. We are from all over the world. From Norway to South Africa, from the Philippines to Israel, to some of the most exotic places in the world: Moldova, whatever that is; Georgia — the country, not the state, right Michael? And as far away as San Fernando Valley. Did I say that right, Mr. Sedaka? 

不开玩笑了。2018届毕业生拥有多元化的文化背景,我们来自世界各地。从挪威到南非,从菲律宾到以色列,以及全球最具异域风情的地区:摩尔多瓦——哎,管它是哪儿!还有格鲁吉亚,那是个国家,不是一个州,我说得对吧麦克?还有遥远的圣费尔南多谷,我念对了吗萨达卡先生?


My pathetic knowledge of world geography and culture can barely make up for my ignorance.

我的世界地理文化知识真是少得可怜,基本弥补不了我的无知。


I remember when I first arrived at AFI two years ago, I was so in awe of everyone, everything. The majestic building, these beautiful talented people way out of my league. I kept wondering if they made a mistake admitting me. Maybe they thought I can pay my tuition because I'm some sort of crazy rich Asian — which is not the case. I mean I'm crazy all right, but I'm dead broke, just like my fellows.

我记得两年前刚到AFI的时候,我对每个人、每件事都充满敬畏。那庄严宏伟的建筑,集高颜值和才华于一身的同学,简直和我不是一个次元的!我琢磨是不是学校搞错了,居然让我混了进来。估计他们是觉得我是个疯狂的、能付得起学费的亚洲土豪吧。有没有搞错!我承认我很疯狂,但是我可和其他同学一样穷得叮当响哇。


out of my league:比自己优越很多的人

broke:一文不名的;破产的


So for a while the first year, I was in a constant state of anxiety. I didn’t know how to make friends. And I would always stay at home and isolated. But that situation changed immediately after we started our cycle one shoot.  

在第一学年,有段时间,我一直很焦虑。我不知道怎么交朋友,总是呆在家里、与世隔绝。但是这种情形在我们完成第一次摄制作业后,就立刻好转了。


You know what transcends all linguistic and cultural barriers? Hunger and sleep deprivation. We barely had time for the essential things in life after we started cycle one. We didn't have coffee on campus, and salads on food trucks cost 80 dollars. It was super easy to make friends. 

你知道有什么能超越一切语言和文化壁垒?是饥饿和缺觉!当我们拍摄时,吃饭和睡觉时间少之又少。校园里没有咖啡,快餐车的沙拉要卖80美元......这种情况下,交朋友简直太容易了!


"Hey, I'm starving! Do you wanna go out and grab some food?"

 “我饿死了!出去吃点儿什么吧!”


"Sure."

“好啊!”


And then we're friends. 

然后大家就是朋友了。


I suspect this is a deliberate strategy of the administration — a tough love kind of deal, because collaboration is held so high at AFI. And what is the most efficient way to force a bunch of ambitious proud young artists to bond? Structured, discipline-specific, accredited torture.

我怀疑一切都是学校有意为之,大概是所谓严厉的爱吧。在AFI,我们要时刻高举团队合作的大旗。有什么办法能最有效率地团结一群雄心勃勃、骄傲的年轻艺术家呢?那就是有组织、有纪律、有许可地折磨他们。


It is good that we have a cafe on campus now, thanks to Mr. Glastein. Next step is lobbying for something with a Michelin star. 

还好我们现在有咖啡店了,这多亏了格莱德斯坦先生!下一步是游说他们引进米其林星级餐厅。


lobby:游说


But seriously, we have benefited immensely from the collaboration we've had for the past two years. And I'm so grateful for all my classmates. The searing agony of collaboration made us a sort of family. 

说真的,在过去两年的合作中,我们受益匪浅。我对班上的同学充满了感激之情,痛苦的合作与磨合,让我们成为了一家人。


Never in my life have I imagined I could be in an environment where we celebrate our differences, and find our voices through the conservatory itself. Our obsessive-compulsive producing family, our self-loving directing family, our very sexy cinematography family, our paint-speckled production design family, our pasty-faced editing family, and my brilliant, beautiful, employable screenwriting family.  

我这辈子都没有想过自己能身处这样一个环境,这里鼓励大家展示出不同之处,在学习中找到自己的声音。制片系是强迫症集中营,导演系的自恋狂扎堆,无比性感的摄影系,油彩斑斑的美术系,面无血色的剪辑系,以及我们杰出、迷人、一心搬砖的编剧系。


One of the screenwriting rules I learned from my second-year feature mentor, who shall remain nameless — Mr. Stan Chervin — completely altered my view on life. He said, and I quote, "There should be only one shtup scene in the screenplay. A second shtup only undermines the first." Now for people who don't speak Yiddish, "shtup" is slang for sex. And for the benefits of our Chinese parents, 我们结婚以后才能做的事情就是shtup. I told them "shtup" means the activity we do for the first time after guests leave on our wedding night.

我从研二电影编剧导师那里学到了一条剧本创作的原则——我就不说他的名字了——斯坦·切尔文先生,他彻彻底底地改变了我的人生观。我引用一下他的话,“香艳场景在剧本里只能出现一次,第二次只会削弱第一次的效果。”不会意第绪语的朋友们,“shtup”的意思就是sex。为了能让我们中国父母听懂,(中文)我们结婚以后才能做的事情就是shtup。 我刚刚对他们说,shtup就是婚宴当晚宾客散去后,夫妻才会做的运动。


Ever since I heard this from Stan, I just couldn't get over how profound this rule is. I mean, think about it. A great shtup scene in a script is a significant life-changing moment that only happens once. Just like our time here at AFI, it is meaningful, delicate and perfect in its singularity. It should be cherished and harnessed. 

自从听了斯坦教授这句话,我总是忍不住想这真是太深刻了。我的意思是试想一下,剧本里面的香艳场景,那是能改变人生的重要时刻,只会出现一次。正如我们在AFI度过的时光,那样意义非凡,美妙动人,也因只有一次而完美无比。我们要珍惜和好好利用这段时光。


We've had these two years to find our voices, to build our craft, to experiment, to be crazy, to fail and cry, to lift each other back up, and ultimately to embrace our imperfections. So as we sit here, basking in the afterglow of our AFI shtup, like all good shtups, we've done something right, we've done something embarrassingly wrong. But now it is time for us, class of 2018, to get out there, and show Hollywood how we, AFI fellows, shtup! 

两年时间,我们寻找自己的心声,创作作品,反复尝试,疯狂过,失败过,大哭过,我们相扶相守,最终拥抱接纳了自己的不完美。我们坐在这里,回味着在AFI的香艳时光。就像所有美妙瞬间一样,我们做过正确的事情,也犯过非常尴尬的错误。2018届毕业生们,现在是时候冲出去,让好莱坞见识见识,我们AFI的学生,是多么香艳!


Thank you very much!

谢谢大家!



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